We're so similar I can relate to your advice and feel your pain regarding work.

I'm a Civil Engineer and I get so much stress dished out and fed to me daily as bosses have cut cut cut and let experienced people leave so people senior and on the ground come to me with problems and seeking cheap alternative solutions to make the cuts work.

Crossdressing helps me escape all this so in your questionaire on the front I added I Crossdress for escapism.

My wife knows I crossdress and is ok with it now I showed her your blog and she was relieved to see there are others and from what she said she thinks you're pretty sensible. She also said she looks forward to reading what your wife thinks about it.

Keep blogging and chin up Davina.

Thanks Rachael

Civil Engineer hmmm when you do a degree in Civil Engineering they don't tell you about cutbacks, re-orgs or how to deal with stress :)

I will have to get my wife to start blogging as a few have asked to see her blog here and in emails

Hey me and my other half both think you need to take a break from work reading your blog updates. Get some baby sitters and have a weekend away just you and your wife to get away from all the pressures of work and we've also noted you need to work your paid flat hours as we read into it that you are a workaholic and don't like to leave things unfinished.
Reorganisations and what's left in their wake isn't your fault or your responsibility to correct or to make work we've both seen enough reorgs to sink a ship where we both work.
So chin up and relax a little and learn to switch off.
Have a nice weekend with your family and keep away from your work laptop and phone. That's an order

Thanks I need a slap
I'm off Friday (yesterday) and Monday back in Tuesday (all day meeting so no work will get done) off with the kids Wednesday then back in Thursday's and fri (Thurs being another all day meeting which I'm double booked)

I hate having projects and analysis unfinished you're right and I like to be steps ahead but what they've done with my job has seriously hampered my ability to keep ahead and I'm falling behind. I guess I'm afraid of it reflecting badly on me not due to me but due to the fact what the reorg has done has put me in a pickle.

Phone and laptop is off and will stay off till Tuesday morning.

I will attempt to work 35 hour weeks and nothing more, to diet and to start so exercise which will make me feel better I know.

Thanks for keeping an eye on the blog and clipping me round the ear

Why work free hours ?
About time companies realised without people working in their own free time they couldn't function

Think of the time you are giving away where you could be looking after your own health or be with family and friends

You can't get that time back

You're right Suzy

It's justifying things at performance review if everything fell down.

The company gives little praise expects a lot in fact they won't say it but they expect 50 hour weeks minimum.

I will try to work 35 hour weeks from now on maybe flag up to superiors where I can't cope...

Hey Davina ,
Somehow i think you are getting things mixed up.As TG Wife says get your head around your job or quit then sort you and your wife out properly.Stop Arseing around.It sounds as if you are not carefull it could be her or the job.Talk with the Lady about both and get sorted.Good Luck Tanya ( Missisippi)

Thanks Tanya..

I do love my job I'm hoping its a life long career but being heralded as the best in the business in the UK I'm taken for granted hence at reorgs they reduce and reduce knowing I'll cope not once thinking my head may explode from the pressure constant change puts me under.

Maybe I would quit if I had a job of the same pay same flexibility and respect held to walk into but that would be difficult to find.

No chance of losing my wife and family we just need more "Us" time and need me to work less unpaid hours.

We have babysitters next weekend so looking forward to a day out with my wife and a nice meal and a fun evening / night.

You've gone through so much and given this advice and now you're being silly in going back into your shell and not confiding in your wife that you have another compulsion to talk to her about your crossdressing.

You know she's fine with you dressing up what are you afraid of?

I know thanks for the reprimand .. But timing isn't great at the moment other things more important than me crossdressing occurring.

I'm working from home a few days next week to catch up with some projects and I expect I'll slip into My Inner Bitch as the wife sometimes calls her it me whatever lol maybe it will allow me to start talking about dressing again with her.

crossdresserswife.com/index.php/2009/02/20/11-crossdressing-facts/ -

Good link Tanya.

I've read that site info before in my trawl for answers through t'internet

Does your wife go to a gym?
I find if I'm stressed going to the gym takes my mind off things putting on my headphones and running on the treadmill to music or on a bike or rowing machine.
I lost 2.5 stone in the last year and I feel better about myself and dropped back to a size 14 dress.
I still have stress from work but my "thing" is getting fit which I've got a little bit addicted to.
Hope this helps and I'm glad you found time to do the thing that help you with stress. My partner is exactly the same he gets dressed up and he's like a different man from Mr moody to Mr Happy. It's strange but if it works for you go for it. X

No not at the moment no time for the gym but shes gonna start gym and slimming world - id love to lose 2.5 stone ... I'll pass it on when I think shes in the right frame of mind/mood to discuss crossdressing...
I managed dressing for a few hours and was happier after.. no chance this week I don't think :(

I wait in anticipation to see what your lovely wife blogs on this subject.

Shes been so understanding and must have a lot to teach other wives and girlfriends who have just been told by their husband or boyfriend that they crossdress.

I'm looking forward to reading what she has to type on the matter of crossdressing... keep blogging

Thanks again for checking the Blog... I'm so brave and full of bravado as a bloke but again I'm finding it hard to bring up the crossdressing subject with my wife..

We've had a hard time recently which I won't elaborate on .. Me and the wife are fine it's so etching else and very sad.. So crossdressing has been on the back burner but also off topic and it's so hard to get back on the topic if you leave the trail go cold....

I'll try to get her on here contributing ASAP as I'm sure she will enlighten and explain it's hard and sometimes weird but ultimately harmless..

Fab blog good advice and lots of humour
One of the best Crossdressing blogs I've come across
Covers me spot on
married
straight
dress to stop the stress
wife now ok with it
very similar

Sandra

Thanks Sandra - were a minority in a minority but as long as we're happy.

Glad you like the blog :)

Davina I've got your back..

I read with shock horror someone saying that our Urges are more a compulsion and that we're Mentally ill.

I'm not mentally ill and neither are you from what I've read of your Blog. Seems an out dated way of looking at something which society controls with points of views.

Reading what you've typed helped me face my fears and led me to telling my wife that her football playing Hubby likes to dress up as a woman and has done all my life. I used a lot of your blog with both of us talking rather writing to each other as we found it so hard to speak.

She's helped me dress up and says I look quite good as a woman but she doesn't get it although we had fun shopping for girly things for me which she took delight in watching me pay for.

She's now reading your blog bit by bit to see what might happen next. I think we're very familiar as I have a stressful job also and dress when I work from home and the wife is in work. (some close calls I can tell you)

Keep on the Crusade and don't let anyone knock you!!

Carla :)

Thanks Carla
Glad to know I'm not alone and nice to see you've told your wife and you're working through this phenomenon as opposed to a compulsion :)
Be nice to see what your wife makes of all this too.
I'm thinking of adding a tab for my wife to blog on here.
D

Hi Davina,
I have been dressing for many years,and now dress permanently, firstly it is not a pastime,nor an urge it is a Compulsion, (A medical condition from birth). Also the correct description is Transgender.I with an American friend ran an international telephone helpline based in Nashville Tn,i am a fully trained help line operator. With certs.One side effect of needing to dress and not being able to is that it can cause depression.
I wish to thank you for your efforts in helping but in some cases the descriptions may not help Wives to understand.
Yes i do have a very understanding wife.Feel free to contact me if you wish at Theaatkew@aol.com.
Best regards
Thea

Thanks Thea

I'm always open to opinion and other options of interests, debate and experience and knowledge on this subject if it will help and not scare wives and girlfriends.

The trans spectrum is vast and everyone's reasons and thoughts are so different.

My ramblings are from my own point of view and experience and of what's worked for me in gaining my wife's acceptance, trust and shedding some of my own guilt for being a crossdresser and that of t-girls in my point along the trans spectrum with whom I've chatted to on the TVChix website.

I can only cover what I know worked for me as I mention in my blog only surmising past my point in the trans world.

I note you dress permanently so you're further along the trans spectrum than myself so will have different reasons for dressing, different thought on it and different wants and needs and that compulsion.

Our difference is for me it's a fun pastime which is drawn in by an urge to escape into Davina for a few hours.

For you it's a compulsion and you also feel it's a medical condition form birth..

I don't think it's a medical condition from birth for me it's more a fancy of women and wanting to emulate a female appearance and feel to escape my alpha maleness which seems to work with my wife noting a split in my personality between me being alpha and relaxed when crossdressed.

I can go months not dressing but the urge returns usually with stress of work and sometimes home life.

I enjoy my time dressed but always happy to return to male me.

Transgender is just one label which could cover all
crossdressing to TS but some crossdressers like myself don't like the term trans gender as I'm still a man when dressed although I feel different and relaxed my gender hasn't changed just my appearance. My wife doesn't like to think of me as a "Tranny", "Transvestite" or "Transgendered" thinking of me more as a part time crossdresser indeed she's called it fancy dress rather than calling it anything with trans in the label.

I'll drop you an email and maybe we can chat on some media yahoo chat and the like some time.

I'm not Looking past where I am on the trans spectrum as have little knowledge of it so not offering my advice to wives and girlfriends further than my own experience but if you have a similar blog taking the spectrum onto the next level I'll add it in the links on this blog and refer to it.

Thanks for the message and for checking out my blog

Hi Davina ,
Thanks for your reply My ID on Yahoo messenger is thea_hilliard@yahoo.co.uk
Thea.

I put a message on your Blog page before I noticed I could also comment here with the comment box at the bottom of the page.. move it to the top and maybe you'll get more comments xx

Just saying hello my husband and I have found your experiences and insights most useful.. keep blogging.

Thanks again I've tried to move the comments to the top or side but its stuck at the bottom :(

Glad the blog has positively helped :)