Closet hopping or brining others into the closet??

Chatting to the same lady on TVChix with the self esteem questions we aso covered the fact like my wife shes now in the closet so to speak about her boyfriends crossdressing having to keep it secret like my wife also has to do as she doesnt want anyone to find out I crossdress.. so a Metaphorical secret in the closet...

or

Once a crossdresser has come out of the closet, (as a crossdresser) to his wife or GF, many partners feel that they now are walking into a closet of secrecy.

The burden of secrecy, significant others say, has shifted off the chest of the crossdresser and onto the wife of GF. The secret kept so many years by the crossdresser is OUT and now the wife has to keep it secret feeling the burden (fearing she might lose family, friends, etc.)

Can She tell her friends? Does she tell her co-workers? What about the children? What about parents or neighbours who may discover his crossdressing?

Having somone check on the house when away on holiday suddenly becomes a problem "what if they snoop and check his draws and find his lingerie, stockings and size 8 high heels and wig?"

The crossdresser with the secret off his chest  may now desire to tell others or to escallate his crossdressing now his secrets out to the most important person in his life (his wife) with the worry about telling her his main stumbling block... But his wife may not be ready for YEARS if ever to tell others.

She doesnt want the repercussions involved when telling others... Pervert? Gay? does he want to be a woman? whats wrong with him or whats wrong with her living with a man who would dress as a woman?

Some wives feel they need to share this part of their lives with friends and make decisions based on how they believe the friends would react.

I know a couple from TVChix, where the wife told her friend and the friend said "I want to see him dressed" so the wife put her husband through facing her friend (Similar to my dream lol) her friend was very supportive and it turned out when the Crossdresser stated a desire to go out crossdressed and the wife couldnt face that her best friend actually took him out and enjoyed it.

I have heard however of some horror stories of crossdressers who were OUTED by "friends" or worse outed following divorce with one wife telling her children that their father was a pervert who dressed up as a woman.

What is important is that the crossdresser realize the trust and the burden put upon his wife or girlfriend out of his closet into hers so to speak and also appreciate the position hes putting her in with theis deepest of secrets shared.

We need to realize the importance of communicating on the issue of whom to tell if anyone
- If my wife wanted to tell someone i'd respect it but we'd definately talk about it (As i've stated before people didnt believe I crossdressed when I told them but they did guess my name would be Davina lol).

We've decided to keep it from the children for example as what would they make of it? They see me as their Dad and as a Super Hero so what would thay make of me crossdressing... I have a further blog in my head about awkward situations and what the kids may hear about crossdressing which may make them form their own opinion on crossdressing based on what others say about it in a negative way... worse still if the kids knew  who would then inadvertently tell,, friends, teachers parents of friends, grandparents , aunts and uncles and cousins?? and what reaction would they have?

We're not yet living in a world where alternate lifestyles are fully accepted, although its getting better I still feel crossdressing to be the least understood of the trans spectrum.

We can only hope that there will come a day when NO ONE has to keep a secret.

Until then crossdressers and wives and girlfriends need to share the closet space so to speak and have to communicate clearly on the issue of secrecy;