Iv e had a few emails and lots of newsletter requests for blog updates so I guess people may want to read more as well as take part in the forum in the six site so maybe if I have time the blog can kick start again soon.

That is if people are interested in reading more

Still got people signing up here for the automated newsletter.

https://cdtra007.wixsite.com/whydomencrossdress/

Come and check the forum out and sign up there instead plenty of topics and lots of discussion going on

Davina

I see lots of people following the blog still

I've stopped updating as iv e moved to the wix why do men crisscross forum where it's easier for you to join in the debate

Come visit there

Davina

How did you or any of your friends on here come out to there wife, I want to tell, but not sure how. Only want to dress at home occasionally and not all interested in going out dressed or meeting anyone.

Everyone has a different story and reaction from their wife / partner. You are the best judge on how she might react and what she might say. I know some people have used a letter or at least had something written down as you may well seize up when bombarded with questions.

Savannah wrote a good book which I think is a great help in explaining crossdressing.

I don't know if you're reticent to registered for the forum or if you'd sooner me post the question there. The address is https://cdtra007.wixsite.com/whydomencrossdress/forum/why-do-men-crossdress Most of us tend to go there first now so you'll get more replies.

Katie

Hi Emma. Pop over to the forum as Katie suggested and start a thread. It's easier to chat there!

I'm a wife, by the way. I am still struggling with all this year's later but we're still married. The one thing I'd say above all is to somehow 'normalise' the situation. That means not making it some HUGE deal and leave her a jittery mess. (Happens all the time). If it's really just a private, occasional thing then talking to her like you're about to tell her you have cancer is not going to help. So stay calm!

Many support sites dwell on how long the marriage and how open minded the wife etc. Not relevant. Her response after two weeks or twenty years will be the same. I knew early on and may as well have been a lifetime. We react innately to these things and there's very little you can do about that.

That said, we don't always know where our comfort zone lies either until we've thought it all through, as our other wife here (another Emma) experienced. She now enjoys, after a rocky reveal, having a crossdressing partner. But her husband seems incredibly cool and relaxed about it all and doesn't make it a big deal.

So don't make it a big deal! Make it just another thing about you - something different to share about yourself. Tell her over dinner (made by you of course!) and a bottle of wine. Tell her you didn't think to say anything until now as it's been with you since childhood and was just a private thing. You were embarrassed. You now realise you can and should trust her with this embarrassing secret. Stay calm, be kind and focus on HER.

Answer all her questions honestly.

Accept the outcome of this revelation because as much as she can't change you, you can't change her response to this. You can be honest and considerate, nothing more. The rest is up to her. Just please, if she can't accept, don't hate her for that. You're about to change her entire world. Her husband has a whole other side to him she didn't know about. Maybe she doesn't want to know - which will hurt you, but remember, you didn't share before marriage so anything from here really is your own doing. I don't mean to be harsh, but it is the truth.

But don't let that stop you sharing because statistics also show that only about 8% of women will immediately leave a man for crossdressing. So the odds are in your favour!

Good luck.

It's never easy ..... pick your time, be gentle, try to make it not seem like an ultimatum.
I came out to my mrs 40 years ago - when we first met - she was accepting - but in those days I didn't take it too far!!
Try and emphasise the positives to her. And discuss boundaries - what both parties are happy to accept - normalise it if your circumstances allow.
Good luck.
Hugs

Loved the chat yesterday hope your well baby keep in touch
Kellyxx

Some girls really get into character baby lol

https://cdtra007.wixsite.com/whydomencrossdress/forum/why-do-men-crossdress
Put the link into your browser and you should find the last 12 months 700 pages of chat from here categorised.

You'll need a Wix login to use the Forum... I've given my profile a picture "Unmasked"

Davina

I've signed up and even posted! Love the avatar, Davina. Nice to see an actual photo of someone from here. I'm a coward and posted my pseudo porn name avatar haha. Maybe I'll get braver and quit freaking out my tech savvy older kids will figure out mommy chats on a crossdressing site. I do cover all bases but I think I'll add a mask to my unmasked photo. I don't have the benefit of wigs etc, like you guys do. I'm guessing it would be very hard to tell a crossdresser in a line up when not dressed.

Anyway, I hope Katie signs up and I haven't driven him away. Katie, I value your opinion here so I hope you do! Em too, and the other wives who join every now and then. Come chat please!

And Sylvia, and Sarah, and Trinny, and the anonymous readers. Make a fake email address, sign up and post your porn name avatar like I did. Voila!

You can generate your porn name online or figure out your childhood pets name with...street name? I can never remember. Pick whatever works. Just come chat!! :-)

Love the picture!

Not brave enough yet but signed up (Sindy you don't scare me! I have a mission lol).

Just need to find away of making the site appear top of my google search. Always use private browsing otherwise it'll pop up on the kids iPhone which might be a bit awkward!

Is it live as not in searches of why do men crossdress?

Katie

Yes I thought the same - my searches on this topic are all private too. I can memorise this site but I'm bound to forget the link for the new forum. Davina, can you attach a permanent llink to it here somewhere? You've done an amazing job, I'd hate it to disappear among the chat talk.

Hi I'm there too EMRG Yay cool Forum Davina must have taken a lot of work to transfer all that theres pages of it

We had a girls night in Saturday night this time last year when I first found your Blog and came in chatting to your Wife (Get her back on) I never would have thought I'd be having such a blast with my other half with him dressed as a woman its done us both the world of good.

Well done

Can we till post here too?

Em

Ive crossdressed my whole life.

So clearly the last topic was a touchy one lol. Chalk this up to blog boredom and poking the bear - what haven't we discussed here! I actually wish there were tabs to find our old topic chats because so much is lost pages back now. How would a new reader find the helpful stuff and not just the banter on crazy topics?

As I said in my last post to Katie, I consider myself a lost cause with all this. My limits have been reached and while I enjoy chatting here and can quietly envy Emma lol, and even maybe help others with information sharing, for me it is what it is. I suspect this is also the case with Davina's wife, though she's stopped further along the acceptance road than me. I think Katie has a shot at something more due to his wife not knowing for very long and the fact she hasn't discussed it yet. I sense there's a chance she's more accepting just by her keeping quiet. She's letting him figure it out maybe. Fingers crossed!

But so much of all this is just chatter. We can't change a whole lot about our situations yet maybe feel better bantering here? So what's a non touchy topic we can chat about??

Okay, here's a topic - I just looked at your poll results Davina, as realised I haven't looked at other parts here for a while, and noticed the 150 something men who crossdress ALL THE TIME. Wow, that seemed comparatively quite a large number. I didn't expect that. You must have some full time readers here? Or is this a reflection of a broader scale and maybe a quarter of all crossdresser will go fulltime?

I also saw the wife results. I think I fit the 'yes sort of' in regards to accepting. I'm average lol. Fascinating. Do you ever have these people email you? Why don't they drop in here I wonder?

I actually wish we could set up a proper forum here but how to do that is anyone's guess. I think then that more people would add their thoughts. You can't have just Sindy here antagonising poor Katie forever. We need more balance!! :-D

Yep I get loads of emails from Tgirls and wives some have commented in here or just said hello and I always try to get them to come in here to add their thoughts.. Katie started off as an emailer now we're stuck with her in here lol

Some people who contribute in here still email me and I get the odd email asking if I will meet up having seen my profile on TVChix.

Most who email say they will start to add their thoughts some have complained they've added something which hasn't appeared (Sylvia the latest) so a quick warning which isn't my doing its webnodes "If you type a blog entry and click send scroll back down and check that webnode isn't asking you if you're a robot as you have to hit a webnode security test then hit send" Syvias lost a few messages due to not knowing this so I will have to add that note here.. Also I cant work out how to move the new comment box to the top of the screen as it wont let me and some people (despite the note to the left) email to say they cant see the comment box.

My older blog on another platform provided the ability to let people feedback to what I posted which was good bt this one doesn't and the latest emails I'm getting is around breaching the bandwidth as so many people are visiting the blog from all over the world with the next step having to pay for the site as within a few days each month the bandwidth is used up.

I may have to find another platform or sort a link to a 2nd blog have this one for the other pages and work out another linked to here for all this good chatter. Will see what I can do.

I see in the stats some negative votes as to be expected as over the years there have been some come in claiming the blog does more harm than good but that has been limited to two people who have come in here accusing me of not being a proper tranny and so forth which I don't claim to be anyway "ITs a crossdressing blog" first and foremost but all Trans welcome to comment.

I'm pleased with it especially the last few months just need to get my wife back on here. Maybe I will find a new forum blog to link here. so watch this space xxxx

I've been thinking for a while about going all the way back to April 2016 when Sindy picked her stripper name gracing this Blog and formulating it all into something which others could reference as questions and answers.

I will try to find the time to do that as think there is some useful info within.

I may have to add a tab and make another blog page of it but will work something out.

https://editor.wix.com/html/editor/web/renderer/edit/d9da631b-1a64-4d01-b437-55812405b3ec?metaSiteId=8195b7e4-951e-46e2-828c-530b72ca5aab&openpanel=market:appDefId:14724f35-6794-cd1a-0244-25fd138f9242&editorSessionId=f1b67eaf-0f6c-48d6-8183-7a1bc410ba01

The start of something.....

https://cdtra007.wixsite.com/whydomencrossdress

Started transfer of our chats to the new forum 700 pages in a word document back to Feb 16 when the chatter really kicked off I've transferred about 1/3 of it but there's some really good stuff I'll do the rest as and when I have time.

Okay, so this question bugged me after asking it on the chat below that I felt it needed a separate post.

Why don't crossdressers just date other crossdressers?

It seems so logical, so simple and so easy that I can't believe we're instead in this bizarre situation where men who crossdress date straight women. How did this happen? We are a terrible, awful partner choice for a crossdresser. Aside from the rare exception, MOST heterosexual women LOVE masculinity. And how does a crossdresser like to present?

Yep, insane choice.

I know, I know - you only present feminine occasionally and the rest of the time you're a manly man. Sorry, but you only need to scroll through a few posts on any crossdressing forum to see how even occasional dressing can affect the wife's attraction. You can't unsee something, so if you're sexually repulsed seeing your husband crossdressed (a common reaction because, again, straight women love masculinity) then this can carry into all other sexual contact EVEN if you never dress around her again.

What a mess! And yet, you continue to marry us.

So, when you're younger, why don't you ever consider other crossdressing me ? They'll be feminine and wear all the feminine items you love, and will be equally excited by the fantasy, and really I don't see how it's easier to pair up with an entire group of people who basically don't want you (most women would not date a crossdresser if they knew upfront) as opposed to a group who not only want you, but UNDERSTAND you. Sure, there's the genitalia issue to confront and I totally get that obstacle, but dang, we're talking about a serious incompatibility issue. If it suddenly became illegal to keep crossdressing a secret from potential partners (this has been tossed around before in regards to trans rights versus other people's rights to know), I do believe most of you would be screwed. Most women would avoid you, and you know this. It's only in online unicorn land that crossdressers meet scores of women who desire them in all their feminine glory. In reality, if you were obligated to tell people upfront, most of you would end up alone. (I wouldn't have dated my husband if I'd known from day one. Research suggests most crossdressers wives feel the same.)

Unless, of course, you date each other.

Sigh. I really don't get it. I think nature screwed this up big time.

And I thought I'd better add, when I say I wouldn't have dated my husband, I don't mean because I think crossdressing is wrong or even weird (okay, it's a bit weird lol). I would have avoided him knowing there would be a sexual compability issue with his dressing and I would have wanted to avoid that. I am not attracted to femininity in a partner - even the occasional kind.

We really are a terrible choice for y'all. :-(

Oh Sindy! I thought you were making such progress in you wanting to accept your husband and then you post this. It sometimes appears one step forward and two steps back.

I and the majority of other crossdressers are heterosexual men. We don't want a relationship with another man, however he is dressed. God, I went through the turmoil of wondering if I was gay. Can you imaging a 12 year old boy worrying he might be gay because he wanted to wear his sisters clothes? Nobody to talk to, having to deal with it yourself. As I said it's what's under the bonnet that counts and I have no interest in male bodies. We want feminine women that we can love and have families with. Is that wrong?

'What a mess! And yet, you continue to marry us.'

Do you want to start denying men the right to find love and have families because of some small 'kink'? What other 'kinks' make men unsuitable husbands and fathers? Do we just go through the list of paraphilia as a starting point and then look into family history, hobbies, background checks etc?

'In reality, if you were obligated to tell people upfront, most of you would end up alone. (I wouldn't have dated my husband if I'd known from day one. Research suggests most crossdressers wives feel the same.)'

That's a really sad statement. Millions of men alone because they like to crossdress and millions of others because of some other socially unacceptable kink. That also means millions of 'normal' women alone. Is that really the future? Whose's left? "I'm sorry madam but there was nothing in his past that would suggest he would abuse you - he passed all the tests".

Maybe we should all take a lie detector test before we get married? Have you ever tried on your mothers clothes? REJECT/INCOMPATIBLE - not ft to be a husband or father. Really! Incompatible! I like to wear women's clothes, therefore, I am some sort of pariah who a normal woman could never find attractive and God forbid a suitable husband and father. Maybe all crossdressers should walk around with a badge or tattoo so that normal women can be warned off. Is that a solution?

Your beautiful children who you adore wouldn't exists if that was the case. That breaks my heart.

We've gone over the whole honesty thing in the past but it works both ways. How many wives are totally honest on day one? I'm sure my wife has stuff from the past that she doesn't want to tell me and I don't want to hear. You can't go through life being totally honest all of the time. We all put on a front to the world, painting ourselves in a good light and anyone who says they don't is a liar.

People change. Some men trade in their wives for a younger model when the old one gets dated. I have no intention of trading in my wife. I made a commitment that I intend to keep and so should she. And to divorce over something so trivial as crossdressing is wrong. And it is trivial in the scheme of things.

As we've discussed in the past. When I married my wife crossdressing didn't really register. It only manifested itself later - people change.

'I think nature screwed this up big time'.

It's got nothing to do with nature. Crossdressers continue to breed! It's not hereditary. It's modern society that is screwed up and the biases and prejudices that it builds into all of us.

If you and other women can't or won't see through the crossdressing to see a kind, loving husband and great father then that is the problem. We didn't make a conscious decision to be crossdressers, we just are and no matter how hard we try and fight it it just keeps coming back. We've had to learn to accept that this is part of who we are, the whole package. It doesn't define us it is just part of us.

You can't stop a gay man being gay and you can't stop a crossdresser being a crossdresser. You can't stop and alcoholic being and alcoholic and you can't stop a depressive getting depressed. You can suppress and hide them but they will all out in the end.

If wives and partners can't see past the crossdressing then that is a real shame. It is them, their husband and children who will miss out. As you said before most marriages don't end because of crossdressing so most women are able to accept, if they can't then we know what happens.

Nobody has ever said that women should accept crossdressing. All anybody ever asks is that they try to accept and understand. To me being in a marriage is give and take, accepting the warts and all. I don't flaunt my crossdressing and she doesn't mention it. Our marriage is the same before disclosure as after. We tell each other we love them, we support then and above all we do everything we can for our children.

If my wife had been told I crossdressed at outset and had been narrow minded to walk away then this planet would have been denied two wonderful children. I think that I have all the right attributes to be a loving husband and fathers. Why prevent me from passing on my love and morals to my children who will hopefully make this planet an better place.

Societies lack of tolerance is the problem. Nothing to to with natural instinct it's how everyone is programmed. You can overwrite the programme if you really want to. It's difficult and hard work but you must want to do it.

Katie