So I guess summing up a year as a Crossdresser with an accepting wife I've been crossdressed around 12-14 times in 2015 with 4 occasions being crossdressed whilst away with work in a hotel room ..

There has been a change as sometimes with stress of work when working from home I've gone past the urge to dress just having to get on the laptop perform analysis and get it done then later if I still haven’t finished the task but its into the evening from an 07:00 start working from home I've regretted it thinking why didn’t I dress up.

Also trying to take some burden off my parents picking my kids up from school have limited my time working from home when dressed.

The ritual the wife and kids leave on average 08:30, I'm usually catching up with emails and the like then run a bath, shave, get changed and made up / transformed and spend the day working away as “Davina”.. If only work colleagues on the end of the phone could see me lol they'd never believe it was me.

The wife usually comes home for lunch at 13:00 and is gone by 13:30-45 and then the next hour flys by having to pick the kids up at 15:15 the next hour flys by and I have to undress and get the makeup off then pick the kids up and back to the house and back on the laptop.

I think we managed two girly nights in in 2015 with the wife which is nice tho the last time there wasn’t much conversation but some dirty thoughts in my mind wishing my wife would let me touch her and vice versa lol .. #notgonnahappenisit.

The for the first time 2015 saw me being away from home a lot more with work and I managed to pack Davina on four occasions and dressed in my hotel room and chatted on Tvchix nice to be able to say I'm chatting and I'm all dolled up lol.

Last week I was away for two nights with a lot of travelling and it was a last minute decision in pitch black at 05;00 in the morning feeling in the dark for false boobs, wig, makeup, stockings, tights, lingerie, makeup remover, dresses and high heels etc into a holdal and just in case I had the urge whilst away put “Davina” in the boot of the car all without waking the wife (should be a cat burglar).

The meeting in work did my head in and with an hour and a half drive further away from home to the hotel the urge grabbed me what a rubbish day lets get to the hotel find something to eat, have a soak in the bath then spend the night crossdressed so that's what I did listening to the govrnment and opposition debate on Syria :(

Urge setteled it was nice to be able to take time with makeup and just be there knowing that I wasnt getting interupted and that I could be dressed as long as I wanted but had to get some sleep in also.

The next day another meeting in work just as stressful with keeping up with what was going on and also keeping up with emails and phone calls it really is never ending.. it was 17:30 and I was still in work and I thought sod this I'm having another night as Davina.. So left the depot and grabbed food on the way which I ate at the hotel in my room whilst running a bath .. It was nice to be able to leave work knowing I could relax which of course I can do at home with the wife and kids but not relax in the sense of escaping macho male me completely and have a nice bath (tho travel lodge baths are ridiculous) and a shave then slip into something more comfortable a nice basque, stockings (oh how I love the feel of pulling on stockings and the noise it makes as I rub my legs together) putting on a dress and makeup and finally wig and stepping into high heels .. it would I think be nice to be able to come home and think how do I want to appear tonight … hmmm stressful day lets slip into some womens things and get all dolled up and relax as “Davina” for the evening.

Nice chatting to Tgirls and wives in the main lobby and girls only chat in TVChix and also managed to watch football and have a chat about it after the match as after all us T-Girls like sport (well most of us) and believe it or not a lot of chat goes on about sport and regular things maybe not what some wives and girlfriends would expect?

I took a few selfies for my TV Chix profile to add new photos .. we're a vane bunch crossdressers.

Also surprising how many other people are in hotels away with business crossdressed as you can also see in some profile pictures taken in hotel rooms.. maybe being away dressed is the way forward as the kids get older and taller and gain more freedom and ability to look in high cupboards along with the girly nights in of course although it seems a shame to give up rare baby sitting opportunity to stay in dressed as a woman when we could be having a night out as a coupke… tho I suppose we could have a night out with me as Davina #Againnevergonnahappen.

It is frighteningly appealing to just get up and walk out of the hotel room and go for a walk dressed when away from home where no one would know who you are and if you can pull it off go unnoticed  lol but never happened tho I do tease the wife about it. The one hotel had a card to scan back in and the next morning I went to breakfast and back to the room and it wouldnt open the door so a good job I didn't leave the room crossdressed or I'd have had to go to reception as Davina to get the card reset. Haha what a scene that would have been.

So two nights in a row returning from home to a hotel and able to relax crossdressed and probably the last opportunity of 2015… Looking at my job I will have plenty more opportunities in 2016 to pack Davina on my travels and spend a night in my hotel room dressed up tho I hate being away from home… Need the bag in the photo for future travels away lol.
 

Caught up with Eastenders

So I left the last review where Les wife said I suppose I'd better meet “Christine”.. well I just skimmed through Eastenders and caught up and it’s gone a bit tits up..

So Les wife’s friend brings Les crossdressing gear to the house and they have a chat about Les transforming to Christine and agree that the friend will help with Les / Christines makeup as she usually does which the wife is a little funny about especially as she keeps referring to Les who is changing in the bedroom as she and her with the wife not being able to differentiate.. the friend notes Les wants to look good for her wife which causes her some concern..

I wonder what goes through wives and gfs minds when they are meeting their other half dressed for the first time and when they first see them.. my wife was pretty positive saying immediately that I looked nice and that I didn’t look how she'd imagined which I can only think is like a drag queen..

Back to the story line and the friend referring to Les as her and she where the friend says she’s just used to Les being Christine and it now comes natural to call her her and she but the wife’s at this stage is having none of it saying she married a man not a woman so the friend says it's still Les it is the man you married but you'll also find you like Christine as both Les and Christine are her friends and she’s sure the wife will be friends with Christine too.

My wife said the same tho we refer to Davina as her and she sometimes.

Now here’s the dilemma although its easy sometimes to differentiate and use a t girl name like Christine or “Davina” its a bit hard for someone to accept that Christine or rather Les thinks of Christine as someone else.. sometimes it is easier to think of Davina as someone else as when I dress I'm far from the bloke much more relaxed etc.

But the discussion on the wife maybe liking Christine draws parallels to me and my wife as she says I'm nicer when I'm “Davina” ….maybe true.

So eventually they cut back to the scene where Les / Christine faces his wife dressed and she’s visibly shocked as Les is in a Christine character acting like its the first time he’s met his wife which takes her aback a little then they sit and talk and she asked why and he doesn’t know she asks does it mean he’s into men and a sharp NO was retorted as he opens up that he finds it easier to talk as Christine and that as Les he bottles things up.. like most men I suppose bottling things up which I do myself.

I have never acted like Davina is someone else (I don’t think) and think it easier for my wife to accept it being me dressed up nothing more which is where I am..She’s said in the past she sometimes thinks of me dressed as just being like fancy dress which I suppose as an occassional crossdresser it is for me tho more serious for others/

Although it's a little awkward and Les is in this Christine character things seem to be going well talk of taking it slow etc then in walks the grand son and sees Christine and calls his grandad a tranny .. here is the classic second opinion and the wifes mind is made up she packs her bags and leaves but then the grandson sits down with Les and starts asking why he dresses and also points out he’s doing nothing wrong dressing so his shock turned quickly to acceptance of its just something weird his grandad does and wants to get them back together.. maybe something younger people can accept more seeing past the old wives tales about crossdressing being gay, perverted etc..

He gets them back together with Les saying he'll stop which we all know is easier said than done especially when it becomes an escapism route from stress of work and an outlet from bottling things up.

Les opens up to his grandson telling him how it started with a dress he tried on and how he looked up to a strong beautiful woman, a friend of his mothers when he was a young lad and how he'd pretend he was her and how his father caught him and looked at him in disgust and their relationship never mended itself which made Les afraid to tell his wife fearing rejection which came to happen in the story line anyway… I feel they could have played it different but seems they rushed it after stringing it out to her meeting Christine for the first time spoiling it by introducing the grand son particularly as its been out of Eastenders for the last week.. it would have been nice to  just have had them talking through it, her fears his fears etc as this way she may have understood it a bit better.

I hope it explains the thought process of the tgirl worrying how their wife will react and the wife’s reaction as she’s clearly freaked out and says its the end of them. The story has ended as she said she was still moving out and Les said no you stay I’ll move out and that’s how Eastenders have left it with Les moving in with Billy.

There is some poor acting.. the actor Les actually looked better as a woman than a man (I wonder how the actor feels as its another parallel as I feel sexier as Davina than as male me which I don’t feel sexy at all which is a strange thing to say I know) and also explained the escapism how he can leave Les in the bedroom and be Christine forgetting fears, stress and problems for the time spent crossdressed.. I had that for a few hours today its really weird how being transformed takes some of the weight off the shoulders hard to explain.

We will see if Eastenders leave it there with an example how a relationship is torn by crossdressing or if they reconcile and get back together… it seems mad that after 40+ years of marriage something like dressing up can cause a split.. I suppose its the deceit of not telling her yet telling her friend but she has to understand the predicament and fear .. I've chatted to and read about lots of tgirls who have told friends or friends of their wives .. my wife said the same as in the storyline I married a man well I am a man just like the escapism and like is the right word its something I weirdly enjoy but cant explain.. Almost Eastenders almost maybe one day we'll get a happy ending.

It seems ages since I last crossdressed but over the last few weeks I’ve had some good chats and debates on Tvchix in the evenings as my wifes been watching trash TV like master chef and all that rubbish..

I worked from home today just to get away from the office and people who need my help (some of them need my help as they havent a clue which is frustrating especially when the help theyre requesting isnt remotely to do with me but I know the answers).

So I'm sat the night before chatting on Tvchix and a number of tgirls in the girls lonely room state they're home alone all dolled up and im thinking how nice that must be just to be able to come home and dress how you like especially after a stressful day in work.. so I thought sod it lets shave off the designer stubble ready for working from home tomorrow then a further quick shave in the morning and spend a few hours dressed up.

It's been nice chatting to see a common theme in crossdressing as the people i've chatted to have gone through the same process as myself.. curiously trying on stockings or tights or lingerie when young then progressing to dressing in matching lingerie stockings and heels .. trying a dress on and progressively moving towards dressing fully and its been nice to chat to tgirls and some wives on Tvchix who have gone through confession for want of a better word about dressing wives freaked out like my wife but acceptance found but also a few t girls who in coming out as crossdressers ended up divorced as their wives saw it as a perversion and couldn’t understand why (who can understand why?) and couldn’t get past the link to sexuality and perversion which is quite sad.

Its been nice tho just chatting a bunch of men who dress up as women debating rugby, football and the NFL and the differences between rugby league and rugby union.

So I got dressed today; blonde wig did my makeup well nice red lips tan tights for a change from black stockings and a blue flowery dress and blue high heels … I thought I looked nice :) … My wife text to say she was having a crappy day in work so I thought id change back as I didn’t want to add to her being down in the dumps coming home to see me all glamorous and sexy lol and she said “what did you change for?” I told her as I didn’t think she wanted to see me dressed seeing as work was getting her down and she said it doesn’t bother her.. so tomorrow if I dress maybe i'll stay dressed.

What I’m finding tho is I get dressed and then get into work on my laptop and on the phone next thing I know its lunch time then time warp to time to pick the kids up so I cant really enjoy being dressed .. tomorrow I have a phone conference at 14:15 so will have to change back prior to that ready to pick kids up from school.. Its getting harder to find time just to dress and relax although I'm away with work two days next week and tho I hate it I’ll have to stay in a hotel for two consecutive nights so I guess I can pack Davina and relax in the hotel room and be one f those lucky tgirls who can say “I'm dressed” whilst chatting on Tvchix... 

Caitlyn Jenner, formerly known as 1970s Olympic athlete Bruce Jenner, has announced she is transgender, appearing on the cover of Vanity Fair magazine. It's fair to say many people don't know how to speak to or about transgender people. So what do the terms involved mean and what's considered polite?

Davina ->According to the BBC… Bear in mind this is a British Broadcasting Corporation view so those around the globe reading this don't kick off and rant about terminology as this clearly shows the Trans spectrum and the different labels can mean different things all over the world..

Transgender

This is an umbrella term for people whose gender is different from their "assigned" sex at birth - that written on their birth certificate. Gender can refer to one's own, internal sense of being a man or woman, or another type that doesn't fit either category. Gender can also be expressed externally - through clothing, behaviour, body characteristics and so on. Transgender can be shortened to "trans".

Davina → so Obviously as a Crossdresser I don't fit in the above as I have no interest in or thoughts to being different from my assigned sex birth as I'm happy to be a man so will be interesting to see how this topic is covered further and if it mentions escapism,love of feminine looks and fashon etc..

In 2010, the Gender Identity Research and Education Society estimated the number of trans people in the UK to be between 300,000 and 500,000.

Gender is different from sexual orientation. Transgender people can be straight, gay, lesbian or bisexual.

Davina → Yay have they read my blog? Crossdressing and the Trans specturm has nothing to do with sexuality although there are branches to the Trans spectrum impinging on sexuality but it doesnt mean a man is gay just because he likes to crossdress.

Transsexual

This is a term used by some people who permanently change their bodies, usually, but not always, using hormones or surgery. But some people who go through this process - known as the "transition" - prefer to be known simply as transgender, rather than transsexual. It's best to ask which people prefer.

Davina→ not how I'd describe someone who is Transexual which I thought the easiest to explain but a poor job on this from the BBC.

Non-binary

Non-binary people are those who don't feel male or female. They may feel like both or like something in between. They may have a gender that changes over time or they may not relate to gender at all.

Davina _> a new one on me sounds very robotic

Cisgender

This describes someone who is not transgender. For instance, someone who is named a boy at birth and continues to live as a man would be cisgender. This covers the majority of the population.

Davina → another word or label I have never used Cisgendered whats the point of this word?

"He" or "she"?

Using the appropriate pronouns when talking to someone who is transgender works on the basis of respect for the individual. Generally the name the person chooses to use indicates their gender preference. So, a transgender person called Steve would be referred to as "he", while another called Rachel would be "she". But if you are unsure, it's best to ask the person politely how they wish to be known.

Davina_> hysterical insight when I'm crossdressed me and my wife refer to Davina as Davina or the inner bitch or the other woman or her but its all tongue in cheek. Although I suppose those more serious about all this would take offence to being called sir, him, it etc.

This is especially so if you suspect someone identifies as non-binary, in which case a neutral term like "they" may be more appropriate.

Davina → They omg “they” even worse isnt it?

Transgender man/transgender woman

People assigned female at birth but living as a man may describe themselves as a "transgender man", while those assigned male at birth but living as a woman may call themselves a "transgender woman". These terms can be shortened to "trans man" or "trans woman".

Some may also use the acronyms FtM (female-to-male) and MtF (male-to-female). Many prefer simply to be identified simply as a "man" or a "woman".

Cross-dresser

This describes a person who wears the clothes usually associated with the "opposite "sex. This is seen as a form of gender expression. The word "transvestite" is not used much these days. And the expression "drag queen" is different, meaning a man who dresses "as a woman" for purposes of entertainment.

Davina _> ahh my expectation was set too high they haven't a clue have they and this article from the BBC is as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike or a chocolate tea pot.

'Ask. Listen. Respect'

Journalist and campaigner Jane Fae suggests it doesn't have to be complicated dealing with transgender terms. "People are individuals," she says. "Ask politely, listen to what individuals have to say and respect what they tell you.

"It's a principle and an approach to life that will take you a long way - and not just with the transgender community."

More complexity

The terms discussed here apply widely in the UK. They may not cover all situations. As transgender activists acknowledge, it is a complex area, which can be difficult for those less than fully versed in a vast range of terms to negotiate. For extra information BBC Radio One has compiled more detail on pronouns, while the US pressure group GLAAD has created a fuller glossary. Trans Media Watch has also compiled a guide to non-binary.

I dont know if Eastenders is on fridays so might have one to catch up with but the story line around Lez being Christine has been a rapid one of bad acting the wifes gone through the shock and upset plus disgust in two episodes banishing Les to the setee and he's confessed hes been out with her best friend dressed so i guess the story line in one way the secrets out and now hes being open and honest but its shocking her and shes also mocked him but the last episode i watched she went to bed closed the door hes on the setee and thinking this is stupid so goes to go to bed as she opens the door and it ended with i suppose id better meet Christine.. so so far its not that bad (acting is dire tho)  but bordering on it making crossdressing look dishonest when in fact its not its just society cant cope with it so its hard to tell someone about it especially if its something youve done for so long it eats away at you wanting to tell someone but fearing their reaction.. i am glad tho that bbc has tackled crossdressing without it being about sexuality just a guy using crossdressing for escapism from his job

Plans laid to waste so no opportunity to dress now for at least the next 2 weeks as I had to go into the office for yet more meetings.

If the job wasnt so close to home with the respect i have etc I think i would consider a change after having worked 180 hours over the past 3 weeks for a paid 105 hours so i've done an extra two weeks work in 3 weeks stressed myself out for no monitary gain and no crossdressing to relax and escape.

I suppose the occassional opportunity to work from home dressing puts me in a lucky place compared to some tgirls still dressing behind their wives backs when theyre out for a fleeting few risky hours not knowing when shes coming home.. oh how i remember those exciting evenings when shed visit a relative and id have the house to myself and dress up then rush to undress and hope she didnt notice id had makeup on.. quite exciting at times.

Even those opportunities have gone now with having to dress all or nothing  so two weeks of not unwinding i need to get back into exercising to unwind..

I dont watch Eastenders but a news article appeared on my phone which caught my eye about a “Transgendered” role in Eastenders.. Hmm Transgendered like the story line on Corenation Street? ...No Transgendered like a Crossdresser … At last I really hope a main stream soap covering this taboo subject which no one understands.

If the character Les the Undertaker admitted to his wife he was Trans as in a Transvestite or a Transexual it would have resonated well with the world yes we get that but I think and hope the story line is one i've been anticipating a man who crossdresses? I just hope they dont make it weird or turn him into a crossdressing axe murderer and blur the lines as usually happens on anything to do with Crossdressing on TV or film..

I need a break and next week is school half term so escaping work and spending some time with the kids and cant wait.. so no dressing next week .. so maybe Thursday I should work from home and get another shift in on that mahoosive spreadsheet whilst crossdressed… maybe a plan.. Lets hope theres no meeting requests in work and i can fit it in.

Work Work work stress stress stress...I've not been “Davina” since our girls night in at the start of October although I've worked from home I've just had so much work to do I couldn't be bothered to dress up…

Monday I worked from home and thought sod it the urge was massive to unwind and put on makeup, wig, dress stockings and heels etc so I had a few hours in the morning working from home on a humungus spreadsheet as a girl.. What amazing stress relief it is .. I somehow just relax its hard to explain.

My wife came home on her lunch break enquiring why I wasn't still dressed and the answer was “I'm on a Lync Phone confrence in 30 mins and I didnt want to take the chance that someone would request to see me face to face on web cam lol”… as has happened before … I got away with it …. and got called a bit of alright on that brief occasion lol…

What a shock they'd have seeing Davina talking to them with red lips flowing blonde hair and false Tits ranting about the subject matter.. actually might have got my own way had they seen me crossdressed thinking i'd flipped or something.

Really nailed my makeup .. can do it in no time and quite well.. I enjoy that element of the transformation the most I think… or is it slipping on stockings and heels hmmmm?

Its that time of year again, and the third year I've blogged about the following ... I love the summer but hate seeing bloomin flip flops and flat shoes and bare legs so I'm welcoming in the Autumn seeing women back in Black tights and heels..

I popped to Tesco the other day and the place was riddled with women popping in on their way home from work smartly dressed in Autumn attire nice dresses, high heels and black tights that's more like it a more professional office look than flat shoes and flip flops / sandals.

Doh I sound like a pervert oggling all these smartly dressed women but it's not that (honest) its an appreciation of that kind of female look / image which I like to see.. Even my wifes in on it yesterday for the first time in ages putting on a dress and tights so it must be catching.. Hoping to see her in her autumn dresses and designer hosiery from now on... and  Tescos lol

Happy days.

The weekend away was fab.

Just nice to be away with the wife in a hotel at two sporting occassions in London which we hope to repeat next year.

My wife popped the kids to the inlaws who were having them for us for the weekend and before she left she said what shall we do tonight  to which I replied “Well if its ok with you with work being so stressful I might dress up” and that what I did in a nice black lace dress stockings n heels and heels all made up.

A nice night in and a nice few hours dressed up and relaxed on the setee watching a film drinking beer not wine as had to drive to London the next day and as I've said before wine is the Devil.

My wife didn't say much or comment about me being dressed I think shes like “Whatever” about it now which is better than her being upset about it.

Its nice to be able to just dress up without having to work from home, just relax and unwind in total escapism tho shes told me I need to hold myself different when I walk pulling my shoulders back and sticking my tits out more .. I think she wants me to mince lol.. Limp wrist and all haha.

Will have to explore how I walk by a mirror to try to perfect it.

Next day I look on facebook and a relative of mine is pictured at someones wedding wearing the same dress I had on last night lol.. she must have good taste.

We've got a rare event must be due to the Blood Moon but me and the wife curtesy of my Birthday are off to London for a long weekend away just the two of us a first since weve had kids.

We leave saturday morning but will have friday night home alone and i really could do with unwinding so I'm hoping my wife may be ok for us to have a girls nght in.. if i have the urge that is... which i'm sure i will after so long not dressing so maybe i'll have a chillaxing friday night ,, chick flicks and Davina with the mrs but i wont drink wine.. i cant handle it.

I've not blogged for ages mainly due to work work work and work (again) so here goes.

The advice I've had on here and off here is get a new job.. the stupid thing is despite it being stressful so stressful its only possible to keep upto pace (just) is by working 50+ hours per week to cover a paid 35 hour per week contract, I actually enjoy my job which I'm considered a specialist in in the UK (Pity I’m not paid to be a specialist) and it's close to home, my own office, company car and free to come and go unsupervised having the trust and respect of peers and bosses.. however its getting a little silly at the moment with them expecting more and more from me for no additional gain to myself but they know I get things done so are taking advantage of my “OCD” - I have to complete a task..

Usually with stress and work Crossdressing helps but lately even Crossdressing hasn’t calmed my stress down with so much to do when I work from home I cant be bothered to take time to dress and then rush to undress later in the day with so much to do..

Add to this things outside of work stressing me out at the moment and the other night I scared myself having worked flat out until late to get something completed, I finally turned my laptop off at 20:30 and sat down and then my head felt a little light and my chest felt a little tight .. I think I was having some sort of anxiety attack as I still wasn’t switched off work.. I felt really weird but didn't say anything to my wife as think she'd have nagged me about working so hard and that would have added to my weird horrid sensation.. didn’t feel good... Stupid I know letting work affect my health which probably happened back in June when I had a dizzy spell which lasted 2 weeks.

I've asked my boss for a 1-2-1 as my life work balance is ridiculous at the moment.. so far he's not given me a date to meet which is annoying.. I'm also thinking of talking to my union as in work they doubled my area but not my pay and I have no help or assistant to help.. There is no one ese where I work who can do what I do or who knows what I know .. but I think everyone in the front line in work is up against it.. Reorg after reorg and redundancies after redundancies … That’s the results of Austerity in the UK less people covering work and everyone doubling up their workload to keep things safe.. madness and will leads to problems.

Maybe the next time I crossdress some of the stress will temporarily disappear with my "Davina" escapism.

I know it feels great when you've not dressed for some time (Last time I dressed was away in a hotel with work in my hotel room at the end of August so about 5 weeks not being “Davina”) so I'll have to see if I can find time to dress when I'm not working from home and I'm free just to chill out Crossdressed..

Just booked next years holiday too so have about 40 weeks to get in shape lose weight and get fit, back on a diet and fitness and try to work less hours before I make myself ill with work and other issues.

I'll try to think of a more merry blog sorry for this depressing one folks..

"Hey Wifey If You're reading my blog pop in your guestbook and read your comments and reply to them your readers are wiating for your responses LOL"

And why not add your thoughts on me putting those photos on with my nose blanked out as you feel someone will recognise me.. blog about it and anything else which crosses your mind like me being in a hotel away as Davina.. you said before it was a good idea and opportunity to dress and i think in the future as kids get older its my easiest opportunity to crossdress as long as others from work not staying in the hotel and expect me to go for a pint with them lol.. and our Girls nights in of course

~

It's been 18 days since I last had opportunity to be Davina when wife saw me as a red head and brunette lol and the blonde wig wet in the wash…

Two weeks on holiday returning to loads of emails and problems and people running my old section making changes for the worst asking me to put things back how they should be how frustrating… everything left for me to come back from hols and national people asking me for my help .. I really don't get paid enough to carry this “Expert Tag” compared to what others are working and bet I'm working far more hours than most to do the day job plus extras.. mainly as a) People dont listen.. b) People don't know what they're doing c) I'm stupid enjoy my job and cant leave work unfinished..

I am seeing cracks in work following re-org after re-org less quality more quantity and things starting to break down inclusive of people which is not good.. A good review is needed at work and a release valve on everyones stress.

Really have the Crossdressing urge and have had it for a good number of days unfortunately no chance of being home alone for a sufficient time nor time for a girly night in with the wife to unwind all tarted up..

However a work briefing a distance from home looming Wednesday next week so I made a decision as it was either a) get up at 5 in the morning on the road to get to the meeting location for an 08:30 start or b) travel up Tuesday afternoon and visit the local depot to catch up with other managers / engineers and stay in a hotel over night..

I chose B so travelling up Tuesday afternoon and a night away from home which I hate by the way .. cant stand being away from home due to work as have a spate of meetings around the UK coming up at which I'll have to stay away in hotels :( however I will be packing “Davna” I think and after booking into the hotel from the Depot and having a bite to eat I will retire to my work and get tarted up and get some work done on the laptop and maybe have a chat in TVChix..

It was nice the last time I was away in a hotel room and could be Davina just nice to be in a different place apart from home even though still trapped within 4 walls with curtains closed.

Then Work meeting wednesday make sure I eliminate all mascara lol and home Wednesday evening for about 17:00 I hope which beats getting on the road just after 5 and getting home 12-13 hours later still stressed out … but hate being away from home and family..

Need to work my work schedule back to at least 2 days per month working from home...

When I cleaned my Blonde wig i wore a red one in the edited pic below and my wife said i looked freaky so showed her the black one and she said she didnt like me with different colour hair.. she needs to explain this more ie she didnt like it as i looked less me or i didnt look as nice?

I've edited the photos below (wont let me put more than one pic so will have to do 3 blogs...

Blonde me - I fancy I mean prefer lol myself as a Blonde the wig came out well in the wash..

Edited the nose again for anonemnimity is that how you spell it no well ner mind

Bit of cleavage too lol

Another nice wig for a different look which is my second fav to Blonde Davina

All wigs on Ebay range from £9.99 to £19.99 for the Blonde one bargains.

Nose edited out wife will still say people will recognise me.. mentalist looks nowt like male me

My least favorite look but a nice wig

If you've got a much loved much worn tatty looking wig where you've used some form of product, straightening or tangle free spray or even hair spray before you log onto ebay and order a replacement try what I tried following a youtube vid last week.

Put on your wig and give it as good a brush as you can to get knots out

run a bucket ¾ cold water and top up with fabric softner (I am assuming you have a synthetic wig) and syntetic = fabric(ish) hence fabric softner.

Give the fabric softner a good stir into the bowl of clod water.

Dip your wig in bit by bit until submerged then pull it out slowly and between fingers and thumb massage the fabric softner into the wig from top to bottom a bit at a time.. do this for about 5 mins then soak for around 5 mins.

Remove the wig and repeat between fingers and thumb gently wringing the wig but by bit getting as much water / fabric softner out as possible.

Empty the bucket and wash it with cold water then fill ¾ with cold water and dip the wig in it bit by bit until submerged … repeat with finger and thumb to massage remaining fabric softner out of the wig until satisfied its washed out..

Empty the bucket once more and ¾ fill with cold water then submerge the wig again and remove it.

Put the wig on a wig stand or something else suitable and place in the bath for a few hours et voilla a washed synthetic wig..

Put it back on your head and brush it and it should feel and look more or less like new..

If you want it with curls etc I will have to write again as I'd like a bit of curl back in my long blonde wig so watch this space..

Let me know how you get on!!

Working from home as Davina is ok .. once i get the house to myself decide what i want to wear then  quick bath and shave,dry and cool down andput on moisturiser .. do a bit of work then get changed and apply makeup and wig ta daaa doesnt take long you'd be surprised..

Oh and i forgot put into my bra the new false D boobs

Oh and the new heels  which are featured on the latest just fab advert

Working from home answering the mobile sending emails and working on mind numbing spreadsheets is ok but the day whizzes by and then im back to male me before i know it..

Its my chance to dress but not really unwind what with working but better than not dressing at all.. looks like my meeting tomorrow is cancelled so a chance to work from home again and catch up on things but dressed today wont have the urge tomorrow.. i doubt

Dressing working from home is ok but sometimes meh - perhaps ive had my fill of dressing for a few weeks

Fab to see some coms in my wifes guestbook from some Fab wives and
girlfriends.

Its what I intended from this blog a chance for people to anonymously ask
questions and share experiences and feelings about crossdressing.

Keep it coming :)

I've had messages from t-girls and from wives and girlfriends describing
how their husbands and boyfriends feels incredible shame and guilt
for crossdressing..

My honest opinion is been there done that "GET OVER IT!!"

That may sound harsh but put it into perspective as the hardest part was
telling your wife and if you're lucky gaining some level of
acceptance.

OK so you crossdress and the majority see that as not the norm or weird
but so what.. its your business and it makes you happy to transform
right? And you're not doing any harm right? And it helps you relax
right? And it can be a turn on? And its only weird as society brands
it weird and separates men from women by fashion and image etc.. Stop
worrying about it you do it so do it no shame or guilt are required
..

Maybe easy for me to say as I have my wifes acceptance although she would
prefer I wasn't a crossdresser but and this may sound harsh too so
what if she didn't accept it I'm not ashamed of myself and don't
feel guilty for having this outlet and escapism and liking
crossdressing, it is part of me and it's here to stay.

Perspective a husband crossdressing or a husband cheating on his wife what would
you choose? Even more perspective wars and poverty or someone dressed
up as the opposite sex pales into insignificance.

I got in from meeting K and took the heels and Boobs out from the bag
and couldnt wait to get dressed and see the Boobs in action so to
speak.

So I was quite hasty with dressing and makeup transformed in record time
and slipped in the D Cups to my bra and gave them a grope..

a) Can still form Cleavage with them

b) Better shape than my rice bags lol

c) Felt more like boobies (Result)

The I tried on the high heels all of which were brand new and very high
and sexy settling on a black pair with a nice black flowery dress
black stockings long blonde hair.

My wife came home lunch time and the first thing she said was "OMG how
can you Crossdressers walk in such high heels"

Thankyou K the boobs are fab and 3 pairs of Killer heels to mull over which to
wear when I dress... My wife also had a grope and said "Those feel
a lot better" lol

iou £10

So from the last blog Id told my wife I was meeting another T-Girl to
buy some boobies off her. This one covers the rendezvous.

We didnt dress up or wear a flower in the lapel of a jacket like in the cartoon up top there

but it did seem a little cloak an dagger meeting someone to make an exchange like a top secret

exchange of merchandise.. I did think what if we drive off and the Police pull us over and demand

the bag and we have to admit we're both Crossdressers and K was giving me some False silicone

Boobs and high heels... the coppers would have a good laugh at us no doubt..

I'd agreed to meet K at a public car park at mid day somewhere between
where we both lived but hadn't heard back from her on Tvchix to
confirm everything was still ok on the day so I was working from home
(again) and a text comes through 'I'm in the car park'

I left and drove to meet K and luckily there was a parking space next
to a car meeting Ks description.. I saw a guy in the car and we both
looked at one another as I parked.

I got out thinking should I say "Hi are you K?"  but luckily K had
the description of my car and had put 1+1 together to come up with 2
and Ks first words were "Well this is a bit weird"

We shook hands like men and said hello and then K opened the boot of the
car and sorted out a bag of things for me to take away.. the D cup
boobies, some dresses and 3 pairs of killer high heels..

We were in a public car park lots of people about and had a nice talk
about crossdressing in general, our experiences dressing since young
.. the urge to dress up and how people would never guess why we do it
and never understand why.. both stating we didn't know why we
dressed.. we chatted about our wives how they found out or in my case
was told and how they reacted and how luckily both our wives are
supportive..

It was nice to be able to talk to another bloke who
crossdresses and see so many similarities .. at one point a vicar
walked past which made me chuckle.. I'm sure no one heard our
conversation but must have looked a bit dodgy K in the back of the
car putting things into a Next bag then me putting the bag into my
car..

We shook hands again and said we'd keep in touch on TVChix and left for
home and on entering the house remembered I'd forgotten in our
talking and the weird excitement of meeting someone else who shares
this hobby / fetish / whatever it is to five K £10 for the boobs.

I've messaged her on Tvchix saying we'll have to catch up again some time
so I can give her the tenner..

So I've now met another crossdresser (as blokes) and it was nice to be
able to openly chat about crossdressing with another crossdresser ...
surreal but nice to get things off my chest to someone other than my
wife and see another Alpha male crossdresser puzzling over why we do
it but at the same time enjoying it...

A T girl I chat to "K" whos wife knows she dresses contacted me asking if I'd like some Silicone boobs

and some heels as she was getting rid of some things ..

Now as I've blogged I have rice in ankle stockings for boobs so the offer
of silicone "D-Cup" boobies was too good to turn down.

So WE chatted and the offer was on the table to meet and make the
exchange..

£10 a bargain for a pair of D cup boobies

I mulled over shall I tell my wife or just go and meet K.. but then if
I did that how would I explain the boobs so I told my wife I had been
offered some boobies and that all I had to do was meet K and give her
a tenner for them and she surprised me with a replay of "Cool go
for it"

That shows the leaps and bounds we've made in our Crossdressing journey
had I said a few weeks back I was going to meet another T-Girl to
have some boobs off her I think she would have been of a different
mind set .. maybe her blogging and the nice messages from women in
her guestbook has helped her acceptance seeing others out there or
maybe she was thinking OMG!!!!!! what now!!!!! ... maybe she'll blog
about it..

"Myhusband now has false tits".... "My husband met another
Crossdresser"

It was nice to gain this positive reaction from my wife...

Wednesday a meeting cancelled and couldn't face the office so again worked
form home..

11:30 and still not crossdressed tho had the urge but was busy.. wife texts
... and I reply and say I have the urge but still in shorts and tshirt.. she texts back..

that's stupid... why don't you put the french maid outfit on and lunch time we can have

a tidy up as family was coming in the evening for dinner..

She laughed lunch time when she came in and I was all dolled up and in
the French maids uniform which I put on for the first time fully made
up and it felt quite sexy... to be honest I felt quite submissive and
would have done anything my wife asked me to do.. so we had a tidy up
and I put the hoover round as a french maid then got on with work
again..

Also Wednesday a T girl I'll call K asked if I wanted some boobs and heels
which I'll explain in the next blog..... :)

So Monday back in work wound me up no end.. things I left for people to
do in the two weeks I was away didn't get done.. now there are bosses
above me who knew I left instructions for certain essential things to
be completed .. conclusion no one gives a damn.

In the afternoon I had a review with my boss and had joked with my wife
about attending my review as Davina ... Fishnets heels short dress
red lips long blonde hair and cleavage on show lol - What would
they think if I turned up in work like that.. nothing they could do
about it with the new LGBT rules work have set up ... Tho LGB has
nothing to do with T as I've said before.. I can imagine it now
walking across the car park as Davina and into our HQ .. I'd be the
best looking "woman" in the building which doesn't say much for
the women in work.. definitely would have the sexiest legs.. but no I
didn't go into work as "Davina"

So one day back in work and tuesday decided to work from home to catch
up and you guessed it got dolled up and had a nice relaxing time as
"Davina" and worked my way through my 300+ emails .....

We had a nice family 2 weeks in Spain and have been back for a week..
and I see a message in my wifes guestbook asking for my blog to be
updated so here we go..

I have a few things to quickly blog about..

Two weeks as a bloke gaining a nice tan All Inclusive in Spain with the
family.. hardly saw a cloud and quite relaxing to the extent usually
after 10 days you start thinking of coming home but I was thinking I
could do with another week of this... really good holiday.

No Crossdressing took part on the holiday but I did see a few T-Girls
when we were out in Spain.. Not sure any of the family noticed but I
did..

Next break is the August Bank holiday with another Family break in the UK
hoping for nice weather from Friday to Monday.

Going back to work sucked but at least the week flew by... Rubbish when no
one covers your job when you're away on holiday .. two weeks of
emails (300+) and a lot of pass the buck emails waiting for my return
to sort out.. Stress levels from day 1 in work rose to pre holiday
levels.. #Needtowinthelotteryasap

Dressed working from home once in the week, then a saturday night "Girls Night In" with my wife and Monday dressed up again with my red head wig matching my makeup to the wig or rather doing it slightly different to match the red head look and I thought I looked quite nice, a change from Blonde Davina but was so busy and so many phone calls that I rapidly got fed up of being dressed for some reason (possibly because I've been dressed quite a bit recently) so my wife didn't get to meet me as a red head for lunch.

We're off on hols for 2 weeks from next Saturday so no blog for two weeks or more and no dressing whilst away with the family so girly things up in the attic away for a few weeks.

I worked from home again in the week but didn't dress having had my fill with little urge to dress.

We went to a function Saturday night I was suited and booted and wife had on a nice blue dress with lace top to it and heels :)

She was commenting to other women there about the nice display of dresses other women were wearing and I was also admiring as there were some stunning women at the event plus also appreciating some of the dresses and high heels plus how women had done their hair and makeup.

I lost the urge the tail end of the week and packed Davina away for two weeks and now have the urge back but have also grown nice designer stubble which I think makes me look more "handsome" as a man so no dressing this week despite planning to work from home a few days.. resist the urge then off on the plane to Spain Saturday .... Hopeing for a stress free relaxing 2 weeks and come back with a nice sun tan :)

Written by Christine Webber, psychotherapist and Dr David Delvin,GP

Crossdressers can be very calm and happy about their cross-dressing, especially if they belong to a good support group, have an interesting social lifeas their female persona, and have friends or family who accept theirneed to cross-dress.

for me my support group I suppose is chatting in TVChix and I have my wife to confide in and talk to about Crossdressing.

We have recently found that the vast majority of guys like this never even think about having therapy, because they find their lives fine as they are.

I've never ever contemplated therapy although having told my wife if she'd decided we needed some sort of counselling I'd have tried although I'm strong willed and probably wouldn't put any stock on the person counselling us that they knew what they were talking about in relative terms to us as a couple and to me as a Crossdresser as unless you've been there and done it I can't see how someone can counsel someone on the subject of crossdressing.. The same as everything else I have a degree in Civil Engineering all books and
exams  etc but you don't learn until you do it for real.. I've found this especially with Agony Aunts as I've blogged previously... but then again having crossdressed some crossdressers couldn't  provide council as some have a funny idea about crossdressing over complicating it.

The Drs who wrote this article state they believe men who feel overloaded with guilt should always seek counselling. But as above i'd hope if someone did go for counselling that the person providing the
counselling had experience with crossdressing.

They will invariably feel much better for talking over the situation with someone who is non-judgmental... I agree with this.

Written by Christine Webber, psychotherapist and Dr David Delvin, GP

 I wish!!

A number of male Crossdressers want to go a bit further than dressing up and going out.

They want to make love to women when they're 'acting female'.

In our experience, the majority of wives and girlfriends are definitely not happy with this scenario.

On the other hand, some women do find that having sex with a man who is made-up and dressed as a woman can feel quite a turn-on.

But far more females find the whole idea quite alarming and off-putting, and no man should attempt to force his partner into sex if she falls into this category.

Unfortunately for me my wife falls into the latter category Sex off the table with Davina .... Pity

Extracted and edited from an article writing by Christine Webber (psycotherapist) and Dr David Delvin (GP).

Should a Crossdresser reveal to his friends, family or even his partner that he is a cross-dresser?

From experience you can have this burning desre to get it all out in the open and stop hiding your crossdressing after all it's not doing any harm right? This has to be done very carefully.

Telling your wife or partner is difficult - though some women are extremely understanding about cross-dressing like my wife eventually.

Many men do tell their partners, and some partners enter into the spirit of the whole thing and actually help their men to dress as women.
These guys are very lucky as their partners frequently stop them from making horrendous style mistakes!

They interviewed a couple on a television programme called 'The Good Sex Guide Late'. The husband and wife in their 30s used to go out clubbing together as 'sisters' - heavily made-up and dressed in party clothes.

As I've blogged this is a no no for my wife who thinks if we went out both dressed that I would have set foot on the next rung in the Trans ladder towards becoming a woman full time (Balony)

The wife really liked her husband's alter ego and said that his female side was so sensitive and loving that sharing it had enriched their marriage.

Maybe this is what my wife sees in me as Davina a softer and more sensitive side to me.

This is a good news story but there are a lot of wives and girlfriends who just can't get their heads around Crossdressing which makes having told them very difficult.

As I've said before my wife knows and has been great about my hobby crossdressing but she still doesn't want anyone else to find out.. such a stigma over something so simple as fashion and image.

I think I'm at a stage where I wouldn't care who knew and my attitude is "So What" maybe this has come with the shedding of guilt for crossdressing..

Last night we had our 3^rd Girls night in in the last 4 years and I'm hoping
it wont be another long period before the next one.

My wife offered me a girls night in after another chat we had about Crossdressing so with
the kids staying with the inlaws secured by 16:30 Saturday we had the
house to ourselves.

A bit of a tidy up and sort out around the house and a bath and shave by 17:30 I was
ready.

I'd picked out two dresses for my wife to chose from to wear herself some sexy lingerie
of mine which used to be hers before she threw it out (sacrilege) and
of course Stockings and high heels as stockings and high heels really
do it for me (something I may blog about separately).

So I'd had a bath and shave blah de blah de blah and selected my lingerie, stockings,
dress and heels and decided on the long blonde wig and did my makeup
(15 mins later transformed)

Then the wife went and had a bath and got changed whilst "Davina" cooked dinner..
Out came the wife with nice red lips ... she skimped on full makeup
but still looked PFWooor in the dress I'd picked and the stockings
and heels .. glass of wine ready for her as I finished cooking and
served dinner.

Then a night in drinking wine (yes I tried the devil juice again but took my time
some Mango and Peach wine which I thought was nice but she turned her
nose up at it) I didn't drink too much of the stuff (most of the
bottle) as was feeling the effects and didn't want the devils
hangover it gave me last time I drunk that pish.

So we watched a good film and had a nice night in both dressed up with a few discussions
and some teasing which I'll blog about later.... Oh forgot to say no
makeup wipes here so I tried Mens face moisturiser all over my made
up face then wiped it with toilet roll and it came off sweet as a nut
and unlike makeup wipes the evidence flushed away down the toilet (a
tip - "Makeup wipes block your pipes" I've put it in a poem so
its easy for you to remember)

Looking forward to the next Girly night in....

So our Girly night in as mentioned we talked about Crossdressing and
I joked about when I went on a business trip recently and packed
"Davina" and was dressed in the room which she said was fine.

So then I quipped I'd gone for a walk around the hotel as "Davina"
and she said (looking concerned) "You didn't did you?" to which I
said in a way to make her doubt me "No.. as if I'd do that" which
made her say "You did didn't you I know when you're lying your
nostrils flare" .. to which I reply "Don't you think I can make
my nostrils flare at will .. no I didn't walk round the hotel
crossdressed" and that's the truth lol...

Which got us onto a new topic "Going out dressed as a Woman" and
her view on it which is in the next blog.

The next thing my wife said about me being on a business trip
crossdressed in my hotel room was "OMG did you go out of the room
crossdressed I wouldn't put it passed you!"

She's still doubting me with the flaring nostrils apparently my tell
if I'm teasing or lying about something... No I didn't lol but she
went on to say something I find bizar.

"If you did go out dressed that's a whole other level of
Crossdressing as if you went out and wanted to be seen out then you'd
obviously want to be a woman otherwise why would you go out dressed
as a woman and let people see you out dressed as a woman?"

Hmmm she's been putting some thought into this has she?

I found it a little funny as I can dress in the house or hotel and
that's fine but step outside the door

and 'Oh no you didn't...now you've been out of the house now you have
to become a woman'

If I decided to go out dressed as a woman (and I have thought about
it) it would be with my wifes consent and somewhere where no one
would know us and probably to a place where other crossdressers were
frequenting such as going to the "Rocky Horror show" (Which I
looked into it's on in Brighton some time this year nice weekend
away) which has its link with Crossdressing with audience members
dressing up as part of the whole "thing" or to a TG venue where
people go specifically to crossdress and have a good time. (Like
Sparkle where we could go with other couples)

If I did decide to be in public crossdressed as lots of t-girls do
across the UK in one way she's correct it would be moving to the next
level as our agreed level is me at home or in a hotel room alone or
with her dressed so moving this hobby of mine outdoors interacting
with others is a further step across the perceived trans spectrum but
her belief this would mean me wanting to be a woman is far from the
truth.

If I went out dressed or if I wanted to go out dressed it would be
for the experience of being in the real world as Davina to feel howit
feels to walk down the street in high heels for the same reasons I
dress at home (fun) and for a change as dressing behind closed doors
in isolation can be a little boring after years of doing it.

I sometimes chat to others when I'm dressed on TVChix, I guess the
next step would mean chatting face to face with others chatting to
other crossdressing couples comparing notes but after our
conversation I can't see it happening.

Clearly she's not ready to progress anywhere further right of where
we are as a Crossdressing couple and I'm happy with that and with the
Girls nights in ... long may they continue ...

If you're reading this (wifey) no matter in or out dressed it's still
a bit of fun, its still escapism, being out may be more exciting a
bit of a thrill but I'm still me, Still a man, still want to be a
man.. don't have any interest in becoming a woman or living as a
woman happy with the occasional crossdressing.

My wifes fine with me being crossdressed but Sex if off the agenda,
unlucky for me (she doesn't know what she's missing lol).

She again said I'm nicer when dressed (I still don't know how) but
admit I tried it on a bit last night asking for a kiss and wanting to
touch her even considering taking off the makeup etc as I wanted her
so bad in that dress heels and Stockings (wow)

My wife wearing stockings is a rare event and one that really winds
me up her not doing it for me that is.. :(  So last night was a
bonus.

Her comment later when I was back in man mode was "Hmmm so you need
to be dressed up to help you get off with me do you"

"No but it would be different dressed in something which I find a
turn on with her dressed in something I find a turn on which I think
may enhance ahem my performance even more if she'd let me"

Alas Davina remains a virgin and I have to continue to abide by my
wife's "no Lesbian rule" (Even tho under the flawless makeup,
flowing locks and long sexy legs I'm still me a bloke!) and take it
as a compliment that she feels I look too much like a woman for her
to do 'things' with me.

She even said at one point last night when I rolled my eyes after
disapproving of some comment that I looked like my sister lol I took
that as a compliment too asking "Do I take that as a compliment?"
to which she said "I suppose so yes"

I was incredibly horney last night a Girls night in, her dressed as
I'd love her to dress occasionally (leads me onto another blog as
blogs always lead to others as the thought pops into my head) and me
dressed myself.

Looking forward to our next Girls night in and maybe give up on
trying it on with her as Davina.. as I think I did her head in in the
end :(

One thing in recent weeks which has happened is I no longer feel any
guilt for crossdressing.

It's out there, my wife knows about it and is ok with it, ok enough
to have a Girls night in and be with me dressed (but doesn't want me
to go out as a woman as that means I want to be a woman lol... not)

I no longer feel any guilt about my hobby crossdressing as I've said
before no harm done and it's just dressing up pure and simple.

Important dressing up to me as it helps me unwind etc but its not
something I worry or stress about affecting my wife or how she
perceives me or how she may worry about our relationship any more and
not something I feel guilty about putting my wife through any more.

It's nice that she tells me I shouldn't feel guilty as its just part
of me something I do .. so there is no longer any guilt in my head
about being a Crossdresser tadaaaaa maybe another notch on the trans
spectrum... The Crossdresser who's wife is ok with him dressing up
and no longer feels guilty about it.

More from our "Girls night in" we discussed other people and I
asked had she discussed my crossdressing with anyone else and she
said "No" and then asked did she ever feel like discussing it
with anyone else or want to discuss my crossdressing with anyone else
like her mother, her sister or a friend or colleague at work and
again she said "No"

Like I said I don't care if she has discussed it with anyone else but
would want to know who and when if she had just to know.

I told her I wouldn't have minded and don't mind today if she had or
wanted to or wants to talk to other people about me crossdressing but
she doesn't want anyone to know asking me "how would you feel if
people did know?" and my reply "I wouldn't really care if people
knew as it's just something I do nothing I'm ashamed of nor should be
ashamed of"

Then she said "What even your Mam and Dad? How would you feel if
they knew you crossdressed?".... Maybe they do know or did know
when I lived at home just never ever said anything and probably glad
when I finally brought a girl (my wife) home.. Never took another
girlfriend home... never really had a serious girlfriend before my
wife, certainly no L word with any other girlfriends.

Again I don't really care who knows, they may think I'm a pervert or
some sort of weirdo and may think my wife is weird for knowing and
staying with me but then I guess my job would be to educate whoever
found out to the positives I get from it if they then understand or
not, it's my business.

My wife is concerned about people finding out then us having to
explain it then whoever found out telling their other half and so on
it spreads and people sneer at us although statistically if news
spread someone may approach me and say "I crossdress too" lol

I know one friend who used to be with another friend wore her things
and I suppose 1+1=2 so he probably crossdresses although he doesn't
know she told us he wore her things and the conversation wasn't a
positive one by our friend about it which had me thinking I don't
want my wife hearing this as its her friends thoughts on her BF
wearing her things. They had other issues and eventually broke up but
that's another story and not my story..

I said she could have confided in her best friend if she wanted as I
think we could trust her to keep it to herself .. what an "in joke"
that would have become the 3 of us knowing about "Davina"
incidentally if you read further in the blog I've told her best
friend and she didn't believe me :)

So we continue to share this secret between us with no one else who
knows us any the wiser what we did Saturday night on our "Girls
night in" or what I do behind closed doors when I work from home :)

I've blogged about this before but when I dress up I make as much
effort as my artistic skills provide me with my makeup and how I
dress to look as presentable and as real or convincing as possible
and my wife tells me I do a good job of it.

From getting out of the bath and shaving starting the stop watch at
best it takes me 10 mins at worst 15 mins to slip into lingerie,
stockings or tights and a dress "put my face on" then the wig and
brush it into shape and I'm fully transformed..

So what I don't get is the effort I make takes 15 mins and women are
more skilled and adept at makeup than me and have vastly bigger
wardrobes than me (although I think my dress collection now
outnumbers the wifes lol) so why don't women bother to look their
best every day, going to work or whatever.

Some do and it can then be a bit of a shock to see them without their
makeup or seeing them dress scruffy and sometimes its nice to see
women looking all natural with minimal makeup sometimes the best
look.

Is it that much effort to put on foundation or powder, a bit of
blusher lippy, eye shaddow and mascara? And a nice dress and heels..
even flats bleugh!

Last night my wife wore the dress I picked out for her, black
stockings and her highest heels and put on foundation and red
lipstick but didn't bother with blusher or eye shaddow and she looked
amazing.. although she said she felt uncomfortable and didn't feel
sexy.. I told her although she shunned the idea that out like that
looking very smart and sexy she'd turn heads and have men gawping at
her which she dismissed so I asked wouldn't you want men fancying you
and she said not really.. which is nice as she has me and all that
but still we all need a bit of vanity don't we? Or is that just men?
Or crossdressers??

Anyways women make the effort for yourselves to look your best it
doesn't take long (I'm not trying to sound patronising or anything) -
I know you all get up and get the household ready for work and school
but make sometime for yourselves and always look your best as surely
you feel all the better for it?

So I'm ill "ahhhhhh get well soon i hear readers say"

Whats up with me?

I feel like I'm on a boat...  ... of a jet ski i suppose.

Room spinning and ringing in my ears what the quack called Laberynthitis ... but i've not been in a maze so beats me and dont have a phobia about labertnths ..

Bloomin hoirrible it is the room spinning, light headed and this ringing n my ears... so have worked from home all week and today had a few hours Crossdressed which was nice until i realised when getting undressed that the wife had used all her and my facial makeup wipes!!

Oh wifey you owe me some makeup wipes!!

Stopped woring now as have to get better and relax away from the work laptop not that this laptop is any better for my ilness but felt a blog coming on and here it is. Need to be fit as need to be able to drive next week to meetings ... its not pleasant driving light headded or when it looks and feels like youre on a boat and the meds ive been given make me drowsy... i've had to have a siesta after work all week since taking the tablets..

almost time to pick kids up hope the thunder storms hold off... time to watch the cricket for 30 mins anyway ..bye for now

We chatted last week quite a bit about crossdressing and I think my wifes ready to contribute to the blog.

Hopefully we'll start adding something this week which I hope will make the blog well rounded from a help and support point of view as you've heard enough from me and wives and girlfriends I'm sure will benefit from hearing my wifes side of this story.

Lifted from another blog i read today

So I have some virus or something I'll spare the gory details but it's left me now hopefully coming out of some 24 hour bug feeling sea sick like I'm on a boat my balance all over the place which is not nice so I'm sat in bed and thought lets see if there's anything new on Crossdressing on the Internet.

First stop I found an "Ask Alice" query about crossdressing .. whoever Alice is she hasn't a clue about crossdressing yet offers advice which I commented was "way off the mark" and if she doesn't know enough about a subject she shouldn't offer her advice as she was merely backing up the popular myth about crossdressing and classing crossdressing as an all encompassing thing men do, not noting there is a vast spectrum of why men crossdress and inside that spectrum many reasons why men crossdress and to what extent and for most of what I will term crossdressers merely the act of wearing and image society says belongs to a woman and as my polls show mainly for fun and escapism with crossdressers happy to return back to their manly form and personality.. (out of breath after that now breathe)

She was off with the faries trying to make it all DNA, gender and Scientific when its far simpler than that (although still hard to explain) in her advice which makes my blood boil.. however some don't like what I have to
say on the matter...(But these are not my target audience) As I always say I'm only speaking from my own experience of some 30+ years as a part time heterosexual crossdresser (Heterosexual whats that's got to do with image, clothing, makeup, gender.. sexuality?? - see the next few blogs)

DD - In conclusion - Her advice really wound me up especially the references enough to scare someone whos just found out their other half is a crossdresser silly. Don't believe Agony aunts unless they have personal experience... Better still read my wifes views in the blog but remember we're all different not all T-Girls / Crossdressers are like me.. see the spectrum in my advice blog we all have different reasons to dress and are all different as people let alone as Crossdressers... Honesty is the best policy..

I found someone else blogging this time about why Straight men might crossdress so have extracted some of it here in the next 3-4 blogs (below added in order to read from here downwards.

I've added my thoughts on some of his/her points and quoted him/her also which is a good follow up or fiollow down from my rants on the Agony aunt Above

This can go without saying. We have friends who are constantly in turmoil about relationships with silly arguments and issues looking at me and my wife as a couple and saying how do you remain best friends
and we've never seen you argue etc but we do fall out and argue like any couple (bet never for very long)  and sometimes crossdressing is brought up but rare you have to work on a relationship the same as you have to work on anything within a relationship which may be out of the societal norm aka Crossdressing.

If you're going to have a long-term relationship, the inevitable questions come up: "Do I tell her?" "When do I tell
her?" "What if she rejects me?" "Could I stop if she asked me to?"

Remember, this isn't just something done as a fashion statement, (there is a little bit more to Crossdressing than merely dressing up especially where it gives you that bit of escapism and stress relief)

Think of it like if your significant other asked you to throw out your Football Jerseys (Supporting
your football team is part of you the same as Crossdressing is part of you).

With crossdressers, it's a key part of our identity if we realise it or not and maybe part of the attraction... no I don't mean attraction in my wife fancies me as "Davina" (wish she would) I mean attraction in my personality which I suppose I don't know or didn't know was there this softer side beneath the façade of manliness lol.

You get double complication points if you start to get a handle on this side of yourself after you're already in a committed relationship.

Rejection, or even the fear of it, leads to a depressing cycle of wardrobe purging for many dressers, which I've never been through (maybe a lil bit of depression at some point but thats as much to do with work as anything) and advise you don't get rid if youre thinking about it.

If you truly have the need to express your feminine side, (which I suppose it is) that doesn't go away. And then it leads to not only being in the closet, but dressing behind somebody's back, which is a breach of trust on top of everything else adding to guilt for being a crossdresser instead of embracing it as part of who you are and relaxing with it.

Like the other blogger I'm quoting in part, I am lucky because my wife has been wonderfully supportive even at first when she disapproved .. She has asked me not do dress but hasn't enforced it or mandated it and has come to accept its something I do over time to the point where she's said I'm nicer when I'm dressed.

I know I'm lucky, because there are a million horror stories about crossdressers coming out to their wives or girlfriends with disastrous results. In many cases, it's not the dressing itself that throws everything out of whack; it's the secrets and the sense that the crossdresser was keeping something from them.

The other blogger dated his wife in college and had a dorm room to himself, a typical dump a disaster area, so one day when she was there alone, she made the heroic attempt to try to pick up a bit and came across a
pair of women's pantyhose or tights as we call them in th UK, and when he got back she confronted him with them. "Whose are these??"  Figuring nothing to lose, he said, "Those are mine."

She only said, "Oh. Well that's okay then."

Very Lucky...They actually didn't talk about it directly for a long time -- she just kind of got it.

It was a while before they sat down and had conversations about it. By then most of it had to do with sort of figuring out how much of his life he wanted this to be. Which I'm sure we all go through "Is this something I want for my life?"

I suspect most part-time crossdressers go through this questioning phase.

Finding the balance that I like the other blogger now enjoy came out of much soul searching and many open and honest conversations.

The thing about being a straight crossdresser is that, on top of not really fitting into mainstream society and being thought of as Weird and stereotyped as a pervert or as being gay, we don't really fit into the LGBT
community either.

I've found this in chat and on the TVChix forum being told you're not a proper tranny which I found funny but also annoying as Us Part time straight Tgirls don't fit anywhere the most frowned on for whatever
reason.

Gay men tend to get annoyed and believe we don't know what their struggle is like (I'll be honest I don't care about their struggle seeing Gay marriage legalised and the progress they have made despite their plight in
the past), bisexual men and T-Girls seem to find it confusing because many assume mixing genders would mean liking sex with both and all genders.

The trans part of the LGBT equation is where some think crossdressers would fit in, but there's a lot of infighting in that group which is kind of hard to sum up... and I wont rant too much here about Trans having
nothing to do with LGBT otherwise it should be called LGBT&S (Lesbian. Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Straights)

Let me put it this way in agreement with another blogger:

I'm a crossdresser who has no issues putting myself out there on the internet, but to date, the most hostility I've encountered has not been from the homophobic idiots as you'd expect, but from other trans people...

Obviously not all of them are hostile, but I think that many of them have a violent gag reflex at the thought of being associated with someone who is "just" a man in a dress who is happily married, has kids, a job, a house and a company car and escapes by crossdressing occasionally but isn't into men or other t girls sexually just enjoys being Crossdressed but then easily returns to the normality of being a man knowing he can flit between both time and opportunity permitting..

Why ostracise Straight Crossdressers as pariahs of the Trans community Arrrggghh I did rant!

The Trans folk who do get aggressive with have obviously been through plenty of crap to get to live as they wish, (We've gone through similar having to sweat on explaining to our wives that we crossdress win their assurance risking everything as for all we kow they might pack their bags or ours)

I get not wanting to be belittled as some bloke who they see as doing it for fun or attention.

They even they tend to make the assumptions that we are closet bisexual and must want sex with other tgirls or men and if you're not gay or transitioning, then it must be a sexual kink or you aren't a proper Tranny.

Go figure - Who cares some of us have accepting wives and can crossdress safe in the knowledge that our relationships are safe and we can live as the best of both gender.. time and opportunity permitting that is..

Maybe the "others" who don't have what we have are jellous but from what I've seen i can look considerabkly more convincing than some of the haters (smug grin).

There's a period of confusion for most crossdressers, and part of the reason for that is there aren't really any cultural reference points for this.

There's Eddie Izzard, but he really only does his stand-up specials in dress these days and turns out to support the Labout Party.

Most of his work he's wearing male attire and interviews where he's sporting a goatee, lots of people don't link eddy with Crossdressing even although in recent culture hes one of the most role model Tgirls in the
mainstream.

Really, the main place where you see crossdressing is in comedies: Big Mama's House, Sorority Boys, White Chicks and the like. That's why I think it throws people off.

The pop culture point of reference for a man in a dress who isn't transitioning is a comedy in which a guy is forced to wear a dress by circumstance so it can be played it for laughs (My wife loves the film White
chicks but isn't entirely happy me being a crossdresser).

The blogger whos blog most matches mine comments "It took quite a while to come to an understanding that dressing to feel sexy didn't make dressing sexual, since my only frame of reference was bad jokes or sexual
fetishes or gay men, I thought "Well I must be at least bisexual," so I spent a lot of time trying to fit a square peg in a round hole before finally being able to separate sexual orientation from gender identity"

I expect I must have gone through similar thought patterns especially with my wife initially asking if I was gay .. though a millionth of a second later I knew the answer was no.. my thought pattern took that millionth of a second as id never contemplarted I was gay as not attracted to men nor expecting her to ask if I was Gay..

I also dress to feel sexy as mentioned previously I don't feel sexy as a man but do feel sexy as "Davina" but this doesn't mean dressing is purely sexual ie I don't dress to get off on it ... sometimes I do (blush)

Then there's the Bisexual question and that's a question in chat with other T-girls which is most frequently asked "Are you Bi?" ... Now there are some stunning looking T-girls and many a T-girl has ventured down this route for a variety of reasons but its women who do it for me and I'm too loyal to my wife to venture off with other women let alone another T-Girl.

Ultimately, we occupy a weird little spot in between so many of the more clearly defined designations for gender, sexuality, etc.

In an odd way, being hard to categorize has made us feel a little bit more special.

It forces people to have to examine us a little closer if they want to ever understand us.

Plus it makes close-minded people's heads explode, when they ask "So why do you crossdress?"

and we reply "no idea!".

Look at the clothing aisles in any store and it's pretty clear-cut: There's blue rough and tumble clothes for the boys and pink frilly dresses for the girls.

When a man starts wearing the pink and frilly stuff -- despite not being gay or transitioning to female -- it confuses the hell out of most people.

Hi there. I'm Davina, and I'm a straight crossdresser
"Hi, Davina".

I'm married to a woman, I have kids, a Stressful job which weirdly I enjoy doing, I love Sport and played Rugby, Football and Cricket when younger and occasionally wearing dresses is an important part of my life providing stress relief and I enjoy it.

Why is this such a stigmatised "Thing!?"

Hi There I'm Holly I like to wear mens clothing I'm married to a man, I have kids, a Stressful job which weirdly I enjoy doing, I love Sport and played Rugby, Football and Cricket as a younger woman and  occasionally wearing dresses is an important part of my life but I prefer to dress like a man.

She must be a strong willed liberated woman? Bit of a tomboy...But I bet her husband loves it when she wears that dress.

Its funny as this other blogger describes here something very similar to myself:

I know I started cross-dressing as early as age 3 4 maybe 5 loving the feel of silky things, the other blogger notes there are photos of him in a tutu as a child, though memory of that is fuzzy at best.

Like myself for him it really started right around puberty.

Sometimes I would be home alone, and I would try things of my mothers on and look in the mirror.

I didn't have any body hair at that point, and I would imagine that I was looking at a girl and Id get off on it (always) in stockings suspenders high heels basques sounds aweful me in my mums lingerie getting off
I know but it seems its how a lot of us started.

Now, when people see a man dressed as a woman, they make one of two assumptions:

-        That you're a trans woman or that it's some kind of kinky sex thing.

There are plenty of crossdressers in both of those categories, but there are plenty more who are like us -- I'm perfectly comfortable in my male skin, but also have a distinctly feminine side of myself (if I admit it or not) that I feel the need to express.

And that doesn't compute for most people.

I don't spend my time at work uncomfortable at the fact that I'm dressed as a man.

But unlike the other blogger the thought of putting on stockings and transforming does give me an errection (so there are some dissimilar traits even between me and another blogging crossdresser whom I agree with in most of his/her blogs).

Even talking to my wife about dressing i get a little turned on maybe its the naughtyness about crossdressing and this shared secret between me and my wife..

Part of where it gets weird, even for crossdressers ourselves, is learning to differentiate between something feeling sexy and it being sexual.

I can put on all this stuff and feel incredibly sexy, but it doesn't always get me off like some would expect if they thought it was a sexual fetish.

It may seem like a fine line, but really, it's the same way that any woman can put on a slinky dress and heels and feel powerfully sexy, but that doesn't mean it gives her a sexual thrill in and of itself. It's alook, not a fetish.

Have you seen and heard that term used recently especially around the elections.

David Cameron and Ed Millibands political "Crossdressing" continues..

No no no David isn't wearing Samantha Camerons clothes (although I wouldn't mind trying her things on as shes quite a classy looking lady) .. what they're getting at is Tories and Labor politicialns are politically crossdressing in eachothers policy and thoughts making it hard to distinguish one party from another.. so its strange that "Crossdressing" as a word is used here but I feel good for us Crossdressers that the word in itself
is used in mainstream media without the stigma of "Oh these politicians are politically
crossdressing they must all be Gay" 

I'm hoping it will provide a positive connotation in the subliminal thought patterns of society (haha big word usage by moi)

"This week of political Cross dressing goes on. David Cameron tried to re-brand the Conservatives as the party of working people"... He must know us working people Crossdress to unwind from the stress and pressure
of having to make ends meet?

Of course there's the other political Crossdressing (Eddy Izzard J).. Loved the boots Eddy.

My blog is my way now of saying things about crossdressing to my wife without "saying" them face to face..

She reads my blog from time to time and i was nervous firstly going away with work staying in a hotel and last minute packing "Davina" then spending the night in my hotel dressed up full makeup wig n all... knowing she can see my blog i put it in writing and have been waiting in anticipation if she'd say something or not and tonight she said i read your blog today you havent blogged much recently.

so i said what do you think about me dressing in the hotel and she said i suppose it's ok ... did you go down to the foyer? no !!!! but i did think i wonder if it would be a rush in the middle of the night to leave my room and walk down the corridor and back but knowing my luck id either bump into someone coming in late or as happened after breakfast the next day my room key fails and id have to go to reception as "Davina" and tell them i cant get into my room... so good job i didnt and dont think i would anyway ....

WE discussed Bruce Jenner and she knows more about it than me as i didnt realise he was a crossdresser crossdressing in hotels and hiding it from his family... ive assured her me dressing in hotels doesnt mean in 10 years time i'll have a sex change.

Its always nice to chat about my crossdressing and i still dont know why i do it but it remains relaxing and a turn on at times wearing lingerie and stockings which are a big turn on for me ...

We both realise as the kids get older it will get more difficult for me to crossdress and my wife said well there you go go away once per month with work and take "Davina" with you... i hate staying away but its not a bad idea as i travel around the uk with work a few times per month sod the early starts and 3 hour drives form 5 in the morning and stay the night in a hotel as Davina in my room ... It was quite relaxing and nice to be out of the house crossdressed even if i was confined to my hotel room.. making a changce from confined to the house.

I'm also finding it a little boring dressing whilst working from home i enjoy getting transformed putting on makeup and getting dressed then i get down to work and phone calls and think sod this i cant be bothered .. so i will continue to dress up when working from home probably but im finding it less fufilling... could do with another "Girls night in" (hint hint)... just relax with my wife crossdressed at home the house to ourselves, no work .. but dont want to freak her out as shes just said she doesnt get it but accepts it....

At least i have her blessing to pack my alter ego in my bag when i go away on business trips :)

I

I hate having to go away to meetings, briefings and training courses but thinking about it, it may be the way to carry on my crossdressing relaxation technique as the kids get older and it becomes difficult to crossdress at home I could pack "Davina" with my luggage and dress at the hotel when away on work business... Not as in the pic checking in as a tgirl but confined to my hotel room.. 

So I was away for two days this week up early to travel to the meeting and stayed one night in a hotel.. I decided last minute maybe I'll bung a pair of stockings in my bag then thought nah it's all or nothing so bunged in my short blonde wig, some makeup, lingerie, stockings and high heels and a dress .. Might as well seeing as I'm away with nothing to do dieting so didn't want to drink or go for a curry with blokes from work ,.. So came back and checked in after 17:00 and had a bath and a shave got change and did a bit of work on my laptop then went to the restaurant for dinner and a diet coke.. Then back to my room around 18:30 and got dolled up spending the evening in my hotel room watching TV and chatting on tvchix discovering whilst chatting that almost every t-girl that was dressed was also in a hotel room dressed up away with work..

First time I've taken "Davina" away and it was quite nice knowing no chance of anyone barging in or catching me dressed up quite relaxing dressed as a woman in the hotel room... So maybe as the kids grow up get more nosey and liberated to come and go as they please and as my job may evolve to be away in briefings and meetings a few times per month maybe that's how I'll get to dress up to unwind... In some hotel room and hope no one sets off the fire alarm lol...

My wife will think I'm barking mad taking "Davina" in my bag lol I did think chatting on tvchix all these married blokes away with work dressed as women locked in their hotel rooms. Was nice to chat about our wives and dressing and to a few who want wives to know they dress but too scared to tell them as they don't know how they'd react.. Nice to also chat to others who had read and appreciated this blog..

I said I'd blog about dressing in hotels well here it is..

Sorry my blogs been quiet but work work work again and been getting fit..

Got a fitness watch which tells time, counts steps, counts flights of stairs, calories burnt etc and talks to my phone into an app which monitors my fitness and calorie intake v outtake and since the start of May I've lost 10lb and zooming towards my goal just 1 stone 3lb to go then I may decide on a further 7lb before setting he app to maintain weight level as opposed to losing weight.. I've walked and jogged miles .. 26 miles in the first week and I'm now up to 90 miles walked and feeling much better for it .. So a slimmer man me and a slimmer Davina.. Got the fitness bug 

Think I found a good cartoon pic of my alter ego Davina

I do sometimes there were those series of dreams I had where I had a girls night in with the wife and she brought her best friend, her sister and her female boss round to see me dressed.

I suppose it is a bit of a fantasy the secret shared between my wife and I being discovered .. What would people think..

Lol when I get home I'm getting on the Crossdresser ... Crosstrainer bad slip up in front of family today .lol 

No one suspects... I do wonder sometimes .. Has my wife ever confided in anyone? 

I wouldn't mind if she did if she needed to.. Maybe knowing someone else knows fulfils part of the being caught fantasy?

Does anyone else have this fantasy?

I got my first NO.. Eeeeeeek

I've started a diet ... Again... But this time mean to stick to it and shed two stone..

I've bought a fitness band to help monitor my fitness efforts and linked to my phone track calories and weight exercise etc and rewards with badges.. Starting off walking and a bit of jogging and on the cross trainer.

Went out for a big family meal today and said to my wife out loud after that meal I'd better go home tonight and get on the Crossdresser um Crosstrainer.. No one really batted an eyelid so maybe didn't hear me but it tickled me.. Think my wife clocked it as she corrected me to Crosstrainer..

Determined to get my weight down and fitness up before we got on hols in July to look nicer is swim shorts and also partly to look nicer as a Crossdresser with the help of the Crosstrainer.

Also helping to motivate my wife to get out walking couch to 5k and get back in shape diet and fitness.. Hoping it becomes addictive and we stick to it this time.

It's mad how time flys its May on Friday and I've booked a day off to make a long 4 day weekend .. Work is too hectic and neigh on impossible to keep up with with the reorg they've orchestrated with no thought into it.

I worked from home Monday and dressed between 09:00 and 12:00 phone calls and pressure of work again found me not enjoying being crossdressed even though my makeup was pretty immaculate ...

Had to pick the kids up so three hours fully dressed then back in male mode.. Worked home again Tuesday but so busy didn't crossdressed.. Will I get a chance next week as the following week I'm out on site for five days so definitely won't be dressing lol

Sat here watching cricket and faling asleep when I should be doing some housework i was just thinking I could dress up and do it as would have between now and at last 18:00 maybe 19:00 to be Davina and probably more motivated in a dress etc to do some housework .. maybe even as a french maid lol.

I could let the wife know so she gives me 30 mins notice to change back before she got home with the kids.. shall i shant i .. probably not .. silly isnt it.

I also checked Facebook to see a pic of the sis in law who's "away with the girls" abroad for a week leaving her hubby and kids at home .. I'd go APE if my wife did that doing us over on a family holiday abroad to go abroad with a bunch of women.. I'd never do that myself and don't think my wife would then I for some reason remembered that my wife had let he sister borrow some of her clothes .. can you imagine my brother in law saying can i borrow some of your clothes im going away and my reply would be get your own but women lend eachother clotes...

So a new thought crossed my mind making me laugh.. The sis in law has this nice black lacy dress she wore to some christmas do a few years ago similar to the below:

I wonder what she'd say and the look on my wifes face if i asked the sister in law if i could borrow her black lacy dress to crossdress in lol. well fairs fair she borrowing the wifes things and i wear dresses too she can borrow some of mine if she wants to .....

I know who I'm voting for and it's not the current ConDems who are a bit too right wing for me ... We need a more balanced Government and one hopefully in touch with the people.

Nice to see Eddy Izzard out representing one of the political partys

Out and about in Cardiff all glammed up in a dress and heeled boots. I wish i had the guts to go out dressed up but my wife would freak out if i did lol.

Less than 2 weeks before we get to vote and I hope everyone is voting as its our right and our duty to vote.

I havent seen much in the way of policy around Crossdressing but have seen us lumped in with LGB"T" again like we dress as it's purely sexually or sexuality driven or sexual preference driven .. how maddening that is for me a straight Crossdresser who doesnt want to be bracketed on the end of LGB as it has nothing to do with my sexual preference which is straight ie I love women and have no feelings for men in that way at all so I'm not a Lesbian although ... no I'm not a Lesbian .. I'm not Gay and not Bisexual so why is the T on the end of LGBT.. never mind who cares each to their own.

I manager 1/2 day crossdrssed this week did my makeup pretty perfect inside 10 mins I was really impressed with how i looked .. why didnt i take a photo..no time and i only spenf 1/2 day crossdressed as I had so much work to do and so much work on my mind i thought the day is dissapering and i had to pick the kids up from school so got dressed 10:00 and was back in drab by 12:30... Could do with a sustained period not working just relaxed dressed up.. right time to do a bit of house work as was off on my way to work at 05:30 this morning so end the working day as I've just got in from a site visit and tome to tidy up the house... but i'm sooo tired lol

So I worked form home  Tues and Weds..

Work Stress GRRrrrrr gave me a migraine today for various reasons of frustration.

Yesterday i was in a black short flowery dress the wife deemed too short for her (bu i love iton her seeing her legs out) black stockings, lingerie and high heels. did my eye shaddow light with smokey eyes and mascara, blusher and bright red lipstick looked a bit tarty i think with the long blonde hair.

Today hadnt intended dressing but by 11:30 people in work had sufficiently done my head in so i thought sod it i need the release so put on a light brown patterned short dress, brown tights and heels and was more minimalistic (well due to rushing makeup) with brown shades of eye shaddow, black near the lashes and on the lashes and a more natural coloured lipstick and blusher and the long blonde wig and thought I looked better.. more natural.

Funny how a different dress and shade of lippy makes you feel (jammy women)

  the more natural shade looks nicer on blondes.

Red more tarty.

So i was on a national phone confrence and the wife was out with her boss and for some reason i thought she may return home with her female boss.. so avoiding my dream where she visits to find me dressed up I put the key in the lock so the wife had to knock the door to get in lol. Luckily alone .. she saw the funny side to it as I rushed back in away from view of the nosey neighbours and me being on a national phone confrence as a girl.

This time i made sure my webcam wasnt on :)

Enjoyed my two days en fem... it's worthwhile to help me escape the stress of work which is relentless but didnt work so well today as I ended up with a migraine ... still got it as i type this... work 35 hours not 60 per week is the new plan and sod the work.....

23rd March I was last briefly crossdressed unwinding working from home.. Since, the kids Have been home from school Ill and half term so 3 weeks not Crossdressing but seems much longer... Seems ages ago.

Funny how you go so long without dressing up then the urge returns hard.

Really crappy stressful day in work mainly due to other people making wrong decisions and me having to spend time bailing them out and people being so reliant on me for technical knowledge and support.

So I need a good shave tonight and spend 09:00-14:00 tomorrow all dolled up., before becoming a man again, picking the kids up from school and taking the to the park for an hour... It's a weird feeling looking forward to prepping for crossdressing, putting on makeup, looking forward to the feel of lingerie, hosiery and high heels... Am I nuts as can't wait lol.

Hopefully people leave me alone to finish a project on the laptop tomorrow as "Davina" #blondebombshell lol.

I've continued working from home making good progress on projects

Tuesday I dressed but by 12:00 so many phone calls with problems I just didn't feel like dressing any more so back to make me.. Today worked from home again but didn't dress no real urge to do so and had to go out at 1330 so a drab day again... Maybe dress working from home tomorrow... Funny how opportunity and urge comes and goes...

Bad news.. if you're an avid reader you will know of the perfume left here by the sis in law which i comandeered which on her smells aweful but on mee must be loaded with feromones and gives me a sexy buzz lol..

 Well its run out so I will have to get some more.. lol .. Maybe my wife will buy me some? or pinch some from her sister lol

SO I worked most of the weekend in frustration about my job and today

 is back with a bang..

Ive had it upto my eyeballs with work but determined not to let the reorg and the pressure heaped on me fail so worked saturday and sunday to get some messages out and to try to shape things for the coming weeks so i can try to gain my

and have a nice summer although my diary is already full for June 15 :(

The last few weeks have been very stressful in work to the point working from home I've not crossdressed as been too angry wanting to complete projects and probably stressed out to levels which most would flip their lid and have time off work... but today sticking to my own advice...

 and I'm dolled up in a dress me and the wife "Share" as its too short for her she says but i love it on her so she has to wear it some times... with tights and heels mmm lol if i bend over you can see my stocking tops .. love it

So dolled up now and thought i'd give the blog a quick update... its funny dressing after so long not dressing the old excitement returns im shaking with excitement a little and feel very sexy ... which again i dont feel like this as a man. as a man i have to be strong and arrogant .. for some reason.. must be upbringing which is why no one would every guess i look this hot as a girl lol better get on with some work.

So it's been what three or four weeks since I last Crossdressed and ive let the designer stubble creep back in taming it with my man grooming kit but decided to let it grow to beard and moustache state this week..

What I've noticed is with facial hair I think I'm better looking... (Sing... You're so vane....)

My theory is based on more smiles from women at work and out and about when I've got facial hair than when I'm clean shaven and even a bold woman in work telling me I look better with facial hair and a woman on the till at the super market giggling as she served me and then told her mate opposite that she's so single and that she fancied me.. How do I know this .. Well unbeknownst to her my mother was in the queue behind me lol ...

So I let the beard grow a bit more

A nice Alpha male beard but this weekend it was getting on my nerves plus I need a hair cut so felt more like this Above

So I gave myself a Metallica..like this

But only for a laugh and now clean shaven.

Today my wife remarked she prefers me with facial hair so I guess I'll grow the stubble back but being a superhero and a Crossdresser I guess I'll have to be like this...

No chance I like to try to look convincing so my wife will definitely know if I've been dressed now as I'll be shaven lol

I am sure almost everyone can relate to the following... It's funny as in a work meeting today someone randomly started talking anout crossdressing and what one member of our team may do on weekends.. not me incidentally but it made me chuckle.

You are seated at a dinner table, in a pub or in a meeting or randomly amongst relatives, or friends, or aquaintences at a meal, just out for a pint, or in a technical confrence, the office or on site and someone makes a derogatory remark about crossdressing in general.

It starts innocently enough and usually derogatory or in humour and in line with the norm "they're weirdos, theyre perverts or they're all gay.. he calls himself Shirley but only on weekends"

From there it progresses to someone knowing of a crossdresser who's wife left him and "No wonder she left him".. I've actually been involved in very similar awkward conversations.

It quickly turns to Gay bashing, crossdressing bashing - one remark after another. And you, and sometimes your wife / girlfriend are sitting there taking it all in thinking, "If you only knew"

You and Your wife may be thinking 'Sitting here is someone you have known for years! Someone you LIKE! Someone you RESPECT! and trust who crossdresses and you're all so way off the mark about crossdressing'

But what can you do about this conversation?

Do you try to educate, such as "Well, you know that one out of ten men crossdresses. And most lead successful, happy lives! and the majority are actually straight heterosexual men using Crossdressing as a release".... leading to stunned silence at this outburst defence of crossdressing.... Which inevitably leads to suspision.. "Do you crossdress?"

Or do you try to change the subject.... "why are you changing the subject have we hit a nerve ... are you a crossdresser?"

In the back of wives and girlfriends minds, they're hearing their friends views on crossdressing real or bravado it isnt good listening and may bring negative thoughts on crossdressing back in her mind... "This is what our friends think about crossdressing OMG he's is a freak after all"

I was once horrified when a good friend of my wifes (her bestie) and as much a good friend of mine also remarked telling my wife that her boyfriend at the time wore her stockings and lingerie and wanted to "get it on" with him crossdressed" and she continued to ridicule him... me thinking a very trusted friend is giving her view on what she thinks of crossdressing oh no!!! how will this shape my wifes opinion of me as a crossdresser..

My wifes also remarked on crossdressing that its different if youre in a relationship with a crossdresser as opposed to listening to someone else talk about a relationship with a crossdresser.

The preceding scenarios haves occurred in my life MANY times!  and at frequent intervals... I've even joked about Crossdressing myself in my Alpha male bravado with collegues in work thinking "If only they knew their fearless leader had great legs in stockings and high heels and is good at makeup"

We need to be careful in deciding just how much and if we are going to reveal our own connection to the crossdressing world.  Telling friends I crossdressed when out for a drink in humour to wind my wife up was maybe a silly thing to do her holding her head in her hands in disbelief as I told friends I crossdressed and they said we could call you Davina etc etc knowing full well they'd never believe me... planted a seed maybe so better be careful in the future.

And what about children as mentioned in my last blog and how their opinion on the subject matter may be shaped, who may be present at the same awkward situation do you let this help them form an opinion on
crossdressing or try to explain it to them subtelly.

I have tried to explain crossdressing subtelly when they've seen men dressed as women on TV as so what its only clothes and makeup he's just dressed up different and once when they saw a T Girl in Torquay ... "OMG Dad I'm sure that woman was a man"

How are children supposed to respond? A lot of food for thought here... how to react in this tricky situation... Subtelly i would say.

Keep a count how many times crossdressing is mentioned.. Id say you'll hear it discussed to some degree at least once per month if not more so begs the question how many more like me jest in bravado but actually unwind in a dress, stockings, high heels, makeup and a wig at home... See my other blog about my business meeting where one guy at the meeting let on a bit too much "a tell" which another crossdresser being more discrete had radar go off... "You protest too much go back to your hotel room and put your dress on you know you want to" lol...

Chatting to the same lady on TVChix with the self esteem questions we aso covered the fact like my wife shes now in the closet so to speak about her boyfriends crossdressing having to keep it secret like my wife also has to do as she doesnt want anyone to find out I crossdress.. so a Metaphorical secret in the closet...

or

Once a crossdresser has come out of the closet, (as a crossdresser) to his wife or GF, many partners feel that they now are walking into a closet of secrecy.

The burden of secrecy, significant others say, has shifted off the chest of the crossdresser and onto the wife of GF. The secret kept so many years by the crossdresser is OUT and now the wife has to keep it secret feeling the burden (fearing she might lose family, friends, etc.)

Can She tell her friends? Does she tell her co-workers? What about the children? What about parents or neighbours who may discover his crossdressing?

Having somone check on the house when away on holiday suddenly becomes a problem "what if they snoop and check his draws and find his lingerie, stockings and size 8 high heels and wig?"

The crossdresser with the secret off his chest  may now desire to tell others or to escallate his crossdressing now his secrets out to the most important person in his life (his wife) with the worry about telling her his main stumbling block... But his wife may not be ready for YEARS if ever to tell others.

She doesnt want the repercussions involved when telling others... Pervert? Gay? does he want to be a woman? whats wrong with him or whats wrong with her living with a man who would dress as a woman?

Some wives feel they need to share this part of their lives with friends and make decisions based on how they believe the friends would react.

I know a couple from TVChix, where the wife told her friend and the friend said "I want to see him dressed" so the wife put her husband through facing her friend (Similar to my dream lol) her friend was very supportive and it turned out when the Crossdresser stated a desire to go out crossdressed and the wife couldnt face that her best friend actually took him out and enjoyed it.

I have heard however of some horror stories of crossdressers who were OUTED by "friends" or worse outed following divorce with one wife telling her children that their father was a pervert who dressed up as a woman.

What is important is that the crossdresser realize the trust and the burden put upon his wife or girlfriend out of his closet into hers so to speak and also appreciate the position hes putting her in with theis deepest of secrets shared.

We need to realize the importance of communicating on the issue of whom to tell if anyone
- If my wife wanted to tell someone i'd respect it but we'd definately talk about it (As i've stated before people didnt believe I crossdressed when I told them but they did guess my name would be Davina lol).

We've decided to keep it from the children for example as what would they make of it? They see me as their Dad and as a Super Hero so what would thay make of me crossdressing... I have a further blog in my head about awkward situations and what the kids may hear about crossdressing which may make them form their own opinion on crossdressing based on what others say about it in a negative way... worse still if the kids knew  who would then inadvertently tell,, friends, teachers parents of friends, grandparents , aunts and uncles and cousins?? and what reaction would they have?

We're not yet living in a world where alternate lifestyles are fully accepted, although its getting better I still feel crossdressing to be the least understood of the trans spectrum.

We can only hope that there will come a day when NO ONE has to keep a secret.

Until then crossdressers and wives and girlfriends need to share the closet space so to speak and have to communicate clearly on the issue of secrecy;

My wifes away on a course so just me and the kids in and they're watching a film "Galaxy Quest" remember it?  and I've done the washing, cooking and cleaning so some time available to blog tonight and answer more queries I've had emailled to me or have chatted about.

noun: self-esteem - confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect

Self esteem i feel is something us men take for granted and dont fully understand but I see it at all ages in girls and women with kids self esteem low due to something in school.. friends one minute not the next all too quick to grow up and compare and in grown women also with self esteem issues which I'll try to cover below.

You dont see this so much in the male of the species.

Chatting to a girlfriend of a crossdresser in TVChix she told me her self esteem has been knocked further by her partners admittance that he is a crossdresser. I think when significant others first find out about their partners' crossdressing, some believe at first they have somehow failed their partners in some way. I'll try to explain this.

I asked her if i could blog some parts of our conversation and she said it may help others find a common pattern if i did so here goes.

She said she feels she's let her husband down in not accepting his crossdressing and also thinks she may have led him into crossdressing in the first place by not dressing sexy for him... She asked me my opinion if she was not enough for him or if it may have been her fault as he started crossdressing later in life then myself and she feels she drove him to get himself off crossdressed.

I've tried to give some assurance but not knowing her boyfriend I cant fully satisfy her questions.

They need to talk about this openly and honestly and come to a compromise but I'm 100% certain he wont relate or realise he's causing her self esteem issues.

My wife asked me as part of 3 or 4 key questions when i told her i crossdressed 'if it was her fault that I crossdressed' and i lept to 'no it's not as I crossdressed way before i met my wife' which is why this lady asked me the question as her husbands crossdressing started after they met (or so he's told her - I once thought about telling my wife she introduced me to crossdressing when she dressed me up but thought the truth was the better option.. I've crossdressed for years. I'm willing to bet the BF has Crossdressed before).

She quoted other websites on the subject in some sort of belief that she can "cure" the crossdressing if she made more effort to be a better girlfriend... her perspective not mine. What she meant by this she explained was to dress sexier for him and maybe he'd stop crossdressing. I said its upto you what you feel comfortable in doing but I doubt it would stop his crossdressing unless he really does crossdress soley because he feels she doesnt dress sexy for him. i doubt this is his sole reason but may well be part of the reason you'd have to ask him..

I told her she needs to ask him as I have no communication with him so can't give her a full answer but it's probably most definatley not her.

She said her self-esteem is at an all time low, shes gone up two dress sizes since they met and also she's jealous of how her husband looks crossdressed.

She felt he was more attractive than her as a woman and it was affecting her confidence in herself... He has told her that he isnt competing with her and I believe that as for me I just want to look as convincing as possible which is part of the fun and i'm sure he's the same. We're not competing with anyone but ourselves.

She said she feels bitter seeing him crossdressed and neither of them can understand why he crossdresses..

This is something i've gone through also (feeling bitter at one stage for getting the crossdressing off my chest which was hard to do to then have my wife set rules initially which made me feel like i might as well have not told her i did it in crossdressing but leaving no evidence that I'd been doing it)

We decided there isnt one answer to why I or anyone else crossdress there are usually many reasons.

She said He's now gone back to being withdrawn about crossdressing and communication has ceased and he's back to hiding it from her so she feels gulity and so does he.. something else i can relate to in our search for the comfort zone., I still sometimes feel guilty for crossdressing and sometimes ashamed that I've inflicted my wife with my crossdressing as she didnt ask for a husband who likes to dress fully as a woman..

Like me I told her his intention was probably never to belittle or cause her to be self consious due to his dressing as he was probably just trying to look convincing and this effect on her probably hasnt crossed his mind.

Its good to try to talk and understand where the need to crossdress comes from before the issue of either persons self-esteem can be addressed.

In my marriage we both have certain self esteem issues and I hope crossdressing isnt part of any issues as my need, want, urge to crossdress is borne of work stress, escapism from macho male life and the love of feminine image, lingerie, hosiery and high heels and how that all feels when worn.

The last thing on most crossdressers' minds is to make their partners feel worthless or to give them low self esteem.

It is important for a crossdresser to realize how his partner may be affected by his crossdressing which is why i keep preaching communication, open and honest even though it's always a hard subject to talk about.

Some wives have no problems with their husbands' other persona; My wifes said I'm nicer to her when crossdressed which I'm chuffed with on one hand and "WTF?" on the other hand as I don't think i'm any different towards her as a Man or when crossdressed but obviously I am.

Not all wives understand the motivations behind their husbands' desire to look attractive as a woman / crossdresser and take it as a personal affront to their womanliness (if thats a word).

It becomes a wantant necessary for us crossdressers then to reassure our wives or partners that our need to crossdress is not related to her ability to be a good wife or girlfriend due to something she has or is doing wrong... It certanly was for me to want to reassure my wife time and again about my masculinity and heterosexuality and my crossdressing in no way reflecting on her.

When wives for want of a better phrase "get over" crossdressing and realize they are not responsible, they can then start to make crossdressing a more positive part in their relationship giving their husband some form of anti macho release however weird it may seem.

I've chatted to a lot of couples who have gone through this and have now reached a stage where wives help and have fun with crossdressing, shopping makeup etc

I've also chatted to couples and we're one where the crossdresser  myself can help wives with makeup and also advise on fashion and accessories. There are some advantages.

Its important as a couple crossdressing or not to help the eachother conquor self-esteem issues as lifes too short to worry about it. Love eachother and Love yourself.

:)

Thanks for the email and guestbook message Lorna, I'll try to put something useful here and hope it makes some sort of sense based on my chats with others and my own situation with my wife.

So setting or negotiating a comfort zone.

I had this email and message from Lorna and also had "Comfort Zone" come up in a chat with a t-girl the other night in tvchix asking me how my relationship got into  a comfort zone and acceptance.

There is a wide variety of acceptance levels as the survey on my home page points out and also as the survey points out this can change.

Some wives and girlfriends are totally non-accepting.

I have come across both crossdresser and wife/GF being hostile, angry, upset, and just about ready to walk out the door.

One struggling to come to terms with her husband crossdressing and in some cases the Crossdressing husband having enough of the cold shoulder over what to the corssdresser seems a more trivial matter.

Some Women are disgusted with their husbands crossdressing and think of them as being perverted
(My wife had this fear I'm sure and also asked if I was Gay! :( ) forgetting their husbands history and what made them attracted to him (In fact the softer side "the crossdresser" unbeknownst to the gf at the time may have been part of the attraction? who knows)

One minute everything is fine the next you find out or he admits he's a crossdresser and all of a sudden he's someone else this secret this perverted secret?

Some wives never accept crossdressing or even listen to any reasoning and people have actually got divorced due to crossdressing... This is very sad and I'd like to think more to the divorce than crossdressing.

I'd say take a step back and take some perspective about crossdressing in that what harm is it doing..Its still him... it's only clothes, fashion... different to the norm.. harmless? Women wear trousers so do men ....women wear a dress but a man cannot?

At the other end are wives and girlfriends who are totally accepting and even drive their husbands crossdressing.
 
I've chatted with some wives and read a bit on the internet about women who forced feminized their husband.. My wife got me to crossdress for a laugh not knowing i was a secret crossdresser at the time but went from it being a laugh not believing i was letting her put makeup on me and dressing me up as a woman to it being scary as hell "What do you mean you've crossdressed before?!?!"

Some wives actually drive crossdressing in their husbands (which i think is exciting) but they find it hard to understand those who dont support their husbands. They can be quite hostile towards non supporting spouses in Forums. I used to chat to one woman like this who i thought was pretty rational and once asked my wife to chat to her and she turned a little crazy chatting to my wife teling her she should let me crossdress and if she didn't like it go sleep in another bedroom "wooohhhh I dont condone that"... totally unexpected but shows not all advice is good advice... even from me as my advice is based on my experiance.
 
In between the extremes, the vast majority who are not hostile, dont drive crossdressing but are not totally supportive either who work on it to certain levels of acceptance. (Lorna from your email I assume you're here).

Willing to listen, and try to understand and to make it work... Divorce at the back of their mind i surmise but also scared about what crossdressing means for their relationship..  "Is he gay, does he want to be a woman ..."
 
Setting acceptance levels to a comfort zone is more important in this scenario and Crossdressers in this situation should let their wives drive the pace of acceptance (no matter how slow) and not dive two stilletoes first into appearing en fem in front of their other halves at the first sign of acceptance (Although with a bit of acceptance you'll want to do this... take one step at a time).

Personal examples; I used to only crossdresses in the bedroom daring not to go into other parts of the house incase my parents or later my wife came home and caught me, for an hour at the most once or twice per month... even after telling her I was a crossdresser.

I suppose this is easy for a wife to accept having nothing at all to do with it.

A wife may then come home to find a happy relaxed husband possibly not even realising the crossdressing has given him a release of stress.

Some Crossdressers I chat to have something similar where their wives know but have nothing to do with their crossdressing and they crossdress only in the privacy of their home and generally when their wives are away with work or away for the weeknd. Some will spend all weekend en fem at home hiding all signs of crossdressing when wives return.

The most I've been dressed is probably 8 hours in a day, never overnight or for a whole weekend... I wonder what that would be like?
 
If not for the fact that their husbands told them about their desire to crossdress, they would not know at all a certain comfort zone.

It appears that for a wife or girlfriend to accept crossdressing she needs to be in her comfort zone.

We reached a stage further, my wife now content with some involvement with me crossdressing, girls nights in and even seeing me crossdressing around the house which has made things far easier for us both.

I'm sure my wife would lose her comfort zone if I were to escalate my crossdressing further for example by going out dressed whch is definately outside her comfort zone. She was a little freaked by me admitting i'd put the bins out one dark evening crossdressed and also when my web cam was on in a work web ex meeting lol.
 

The fear of me being discovered.

To help a wife or girlfriend reach her comfort zone depends on good communication and the ability of her crossdressing husband to introduce her to his crossdressing in a positive manner and let her reach that level at her pace.
 
We will all have our comfort zones and it is important that we respect each others with open honest communicatin should the comfort zone change at any point or negotiate.

I hope that helps? and makes sense?

For some reason I've had a spate of emails from t girls and wives/girlfriends this week so will try to blog more later and answer some questions ... one on Self Esteem, one on being in the closet.. a t girl out of her/his closet with a wife now stating shes in a virtual closet, one on awkward situations and one on lesbianism (a fair question). If i get time i'll blog my thoughts tonight .

So my vivid dream didn't come true but we did go to the shopping centre in my dream and I did spy a number of things I would have bought had the dream happened for real some nice high heels in Primark (You can get a real bargain in Primark their high heels are fashionable and last.. bearing in mind I only crossdress at home so very little wear and tear).

The evening we had the kids staying out with their Nan so house to ourselves and a want to go out on a date... I wanted to go to Cardiff but the Rugby International meant Cardiff would have been rammed with Irish and Welsh and the Pubs overflowing ... My wife wanted to go out locally but I didn't so we had a night in watching films and rubbish saturday night TV.

I suppose I could have dressed up but again didnt feel the urge and didnt want to shave my ObeWan Kenobe stubble and didnt think the wife would think much of me not wanting to go out locally yet want to stay in and dress up as a woman.. so I was in the dog house! not my fault Wales played Ireland at home.. (What a game too)

A few weeks of meetings now so little chance to crossdress so no doubt by the end of it my urge to dress up will return...

 My latest dream involving Crossdressing which occurred last night. My wife will laugh at this..

This Saturday coming we have baby sitters for the kids and they'll be staying there so house to ourselves.

The decision a husband and wife night out in Cardiff... then last night we remembered arggghh International Day in Cardiff Wales playing Ireland .. Cardiff will be rammed and manic so should we stay local, go somewhere else or stay in?  My wife did ask if I wanted a night in just the two of us but its nice to hit the big city every now and then together.. still undecided so anyway onto the dream..

It was weird we get up Saturday morning and take the kids to my wifes mums which is strange as it was early arund 09:00 and i remember driving them there and saying to my wife "So we have the day to ourselves not just the evening?" and she replied "Yes I'm taking you shopping"

So dropped kids off and drive to a local shopping centre so we're in the first shop a makeup shop and she says "What do you need? blusher? Lipstick? Foundation?" ... "Um ok yes I'll have some stuff that would be cool" and she proceeds to purchase me a full set of makeup... Then off to Primark just round the corner and we walk round the mens wear and round to the lingerie section and she says "Anything excite you here? what about a basque or some matching lingerie?" and picks me up some black lingerie then we're back downstairs and shes putting stockings and fasion tights into the basket along with some nude coloured high heels and then we're round by the dresses and she holds a black dress up against me and says "Thats the type you like you'll look good in this and pops that into the basket" ... she pays for the clothes and lingerie and I remember being quite thrilled and excited with this shopping trip then we go round to Deichmans shoe shop where she picks up some black almost knee high boots with 4 inch heels in the sale and says "Do you want some boots they will go well with that dress and the fashion tights" and proceeds to buy them.

We then head for Dorethy Perkins and theres a Sale on there also and she says lets get you something nice in here  and again is holding dresses up against me in the sale and says to me "This ones nice I dare you to try it on".. I protest but she insists and ushers me to the changing room where blushing in ftont of the girl I enter the changing room followed by my wife with the bags...

"Here you are" she says handing me the basque and knickers, fashion tights and the boots "Put them on with the dress so we can see how it looks on you"... I cant believe this thinking we're gonna get arested here lol so I'm in front of the mirror in a dress tights and heeled boots and she says "You might as well stay like that they can scan the dress on you" as shes putting my jeans and shirt into a bag "And you'd better get made up"  handing me makeup which I put on lol surreal it was...

Then out of her handbag she hands me my short blonde wig and says "I can't believe you let me do this to you but I packed your wig just incase you went through with it" we leave the changing rooms and the young girl that showed us in smiles and says "The dress looks nice on you" so we pay and then leave and walk back to the car with no one in the shopping centre batting an eye lid at me crossdressed... We got in the lift down to the car park into my car and I closed the car door and thats when I woke up at 04:30 in the morning .. what is it with 04:30 on the dot ever night for the last few weeks.... but not usually with a dream like this not since the last one where the wife dressed me and outed me to her sister, best friend and boss... that was a recurring dream..

So I wonder what's in store for me Saturday.. there's no way in hell my wife would do the above.. Well she might do the shopping spree but no way would she tell me to dress up and walk back to the car ect.. an enjoyable dream but just a dream lol

#weirddreams

I've been reading a lot recently on conspiracy theory and how as a society we're watched... lots of cctv everywhere but the only free place is the internet... or is it... no doubt the powers that be have clocked me reading conspiracy theory and also know I Crossdress.. I don't care ... so what .. I Crossdress and Big Brother knows it...

Worked from home this week and again didnt crossdress seem to have temporarily lost the urge again immersed in my work.. i need a holiday as work is relentless :(

I don't know what's happened to me and Crossdressing.. I've had plenty of urges to want to get made up and dressed up including seeing my wife in a sexy brown flowery dress and brown tights which prompted me to find my brown designer tights and my brown dress and put it ready in a bag when working from home the other day with my makeup to bring it downstairs to get dressed up but that's as far as it got. Then Thursday I brought the bag downstairs working from home even had a shave and a quick bath then went back to my laptop and that was that didn't crossdress..

Just so much to do in work and so brain power intensive.

I had a one to one with my boss and he's more than happy with what I'm doing .. People have Said to me ive set the benchmark too high and people expect me to keep delivering over and above and there's that word again "expert" so readily used when talking about me .. He's our expert... Then pay me the rate to be an expert and employ someone to deputise and learn from me.

So another week gone without crossdressing.

I keep a simple spreadsheet of my free time to do my job and time I'm in meetings or briefings and the next 3 weeks I'm consulting on a project, attending national meetings, briefing on technical and safety matters and on site trailing new equipment so a possible 3 weeks without crossdress opportunity ahead... I think I need to start working my flat hours as I'm giving work too much including this part of me.

The weather is improving I want to get fit, spend more time with the wife and kids, sort the garden and house out.. So where does my stress busting crossdressing fit in to this grand scheme of no time for anything... And I haven't slept properly for the last two weeks which is also work related.. Love my job but I need to slacken off..

No French maid tidying up behind closed doors today as the kids didn't want to go out with my wife so stayed in with me..

Done a little bit, think if left alone I may have got the urge and the bedrooms and everything would have been tidied and sparkling.. but it was Dad come and do this Dad come and help with that and can you sort our laptops out they're soo slow.. the last few hours flashed by with a blurr after pancakes and croissants and dishes and clothes washed and sorted ... so boring in a pair of tracksuit bottoms and an American football Jersey lol.

Had a brief chat with my wife about her adding to the blog in the page I created for her.. I have some ideas of titles to run by her and hoping she may contibute to make this an all round blog with he said / she said.. I'm sure it would become a better blog with her input for wives and girlfriends to see both sides of thought on my Crossdressing and she may even find it theraputic as I have in writing my bits and bobs.

Football on soon :) so off now.. hope you've had a good weekend all :)

So My wife is a tit lol she's added my blog to her favorites on her iphone and has just been reading my blog and comments across the room to me "So you're doing the housework tomorrow in your Green heels are you?"

"No I'm not I retort" ... seeing as the kids are here

"They're sleeping aren't they?"

"No"

"Opps" then burst out laffing nice one..

So wife two things... 1) I May dress like this tomorrow when you're all out.. If the urge takes me..

and do some housework and chill in a dress instead of working on some darn spreadsheet or report for work ... so make sure you ring to give me plenty of time to change before you come home and 2) when are you going to contribute to the blog as in the guestbook / chat a few wives and Gurls have asked when you're adding your bit.. I've added a page just for you and wives and girlfriends want to hear your side of the story ... So??

Used to working when I'm crossdressed lol... Wife n Kids off out for a few hours tomorrow..

Housework to be done ... I wonder will I get the urge to do the housework like the picture above?

I do have a red wig lol.. but i dont have green high heels :(

Wifes got some brown boots and brown tights but no brown dress..

No problem borrow one of my brown dresses I have two of them.

:~)

Wife discovering the advantages of having a Crossdresser for a husband.

I commented today that I've tried on the dress she's wearing and she said " You can have it I think it's too short on me" .... Crazy fool why would I not want her in a short dress tights and heels? But I'm sure we can share the dress anyway..

Plenty more dresses in my stash under the bed which she's discarded that I'm sure she'll be borrowing back at some point.

Hope the above shows as an animated Gif

Whe I'm dressed I cant help but run my hands up my "Sexy Legs" feel the stockings to the stocking tops.

Love it if my wifes in tights (as she never wears stockings :( ) i cant help running my hands up her hosiery covered legs and the sound of nylon on nylon as tights / stockings rub together is a sound that turns me on a little... ok a lot.

Do I have a nylon fetish?

She's quite right why do we sometimes resist.. even if working from home It's nice to get transformed and work in a dress, makeup etc etc and myonly real chance to crossdress so shake the guilt etc and just do it !!

I do love designer Hosiery and women who make an effort not OTT but just the right level of makup to look nice.

Tesco on Friday I saw a woman wearing the tights above with some nice high heels a nice dress she was in her late 40s but looked fab.. her makeup was well done..  now this all sounds sexist or whatever or so i'm told in the TVChix forums if i say things like it's nice to see a woman making an effort to look her best or things like she looked good for her age... I don't get why women don't always make the effort to look their best.. maybe my wife will tell me after reading this with a clip round the ear..

Now this woman must have known i liked sexy hosiery as it seems every isle i walked up she was there so i had a good eye full of nice legs and designer tights and heels... Need to get my wife into designer hosiery .. she did have some nice ones last year ... will have to go digging hem out for her :)

So yesterday stressed out got dressed and not long after undressed not happy with my time as a "t-Girl o Gurl" as i've seen recently used on Pinterest (Gurl - Girl or a bloke dressed as a Girl / Woman)

The work i did yesterday paid off 3 times today in allowing me to do what I do best in solving problems and conveying protocols to people to make them understand what needs to be done and who is responsible.. Kinda why I'm an Engineer ...problem solving and fixing things ... pity i cant fix the hours i work but i am working on it..

So some major problems solved today but still not where i need to be but driving home knowing i'm working from home tomorrow on some technical schemiatics i thought i really am looking forward to working from home, putting on some makeup and some designer hosiery and nice dress some nice tight lingerie.. sorting out my cleavage some perfume and a wig and being relaxed and Gurly all day..

I may even have a mince in my walk in my stilletoes so some form of weight lifted for now which has had me gloomy but still a lot to do and looking forward to a day as Davina tomorrow...

Maybe I need a can of this to get my Crossdressing Urge back.. It seems to have deserted me. So last week I blogged I could do with Crossdressing and yesterday I was working from home and couldn't crossdress with so much work to complete and a dentist appointment for my littlest in the middle of the day so couldnt crossdress if i wanted to.

So I text the wife as we do during the day and told her how much work i've got and others in work not pulling their weight.. she text back "you need some destressing time" our kinda code for you need to crossdress and chillout.

So today Ive had an important report to write and some diagrams to create so worked from home and thought we'll I'm home alone might as well get Crossdressed. Tooke the kids to school with their school projects with my wife and found I didnt have much of an urge to crossdress just wanted to get on with work so did.. then thought when will i get the next chance to dress? so went up got my stuff, quick wash and shave and transformed.

I looked ok but had this feeling of what am i doing I'm wasting time with so much work to get done.

I was dressed working for about 2 hours and thought sod this i'm getting back in man mode so undressed and took off my makeup and carried on.

I think its the workload and deadlines to meet the sheer load of work I've got to complete in the next few weeks which seems relentless.. in this new role I feel I'm not even denting what I should be doing as there's just no time to cover everything and some things which have gone on in work where I'm labelled "the expert" leve me thinking if I'm "the expert" .. who advises me and if i'm "the expert" does that mean if something goes wrong I'm in the firing line as thats above my pay grade certainly.

So to sum it up i think my urge was lost due to stress of work and workload... I think if i had the day to myself just to be crossdressed or a night in with the wife to be crossdressed I'd have been ok relaxing dressed up but work is so hectic that i just wasnt enjoying my transformation... I know the urge will return ....

 So I tried reading all 3 books but found them poorly written and boring so ended up skim reading them thinking aren't these books broadcasted as some sweet romance with BDSM put into the mix some tycoon billionaire and some plane Jane whom he turns into his submissive contract et all.

So yesterday I watched the film with my wife and 3/4 through she said this is pretty rubbish but we went on with her telling me the plot and what wasn't in the film which was relevant in the book.

My conclusion its not worth paying the cinema entry fee for so i facebooked / tweeted "I've seen it... verdict.... don't bother"

She read this and said "Oh you're just jumping on the band wagon"

"No it's my opinion its a rubbish story, they are rubbish books and the film is all talk talk talk boring with some what i thought were horrible scenes of a woman being treated like a piece of meat by some weirdo tycoon with some weirdo fetish and a screw loose"

Ok if shes consenting to being spanked by hand or with a riding crop fair enough if people get a kick out of it but she didnt know what to expect as he tied her up and hit hell out of her.. How is this romantic? how is this consenting .. she used her safe word and he was gutted.. is this what women want? you gotta be jokin and what message does it send to some men "women want this sort of thing?"

ok Dominant and submissive but you gotta take a break you cant live like a slave 24/7 to someones beck n call to be smacked and shagged and to be tied up and to do everything someone says.. basically treated like shit for someones kicks!!

I found that I agree with the womens lib brigade which i hardly ever agree with as feel women today have the upper hand in equality but looking at IMDB and other film review websites im glad to see people have rated the film 1 out of 10 and ripped into it for the rubbish it is. 

I hope it flops and film 2 and 3 are forgotten about but what i dont get and what worries me is women are flocking to see it,  flocking to see this Christian Grey character who if he's attractive to women and a romantic figure then I give up.. rational women going mad over it and wanting to watch the film together..my wife her mum and sister are going together to watch it (now can you imagine if my my brother in law and father were going to the cinema to see soft porn?).

Can you imagine the opposite and men flocking to see some porno staring a glamerous woman ? women would be appauled ... perhaps thats why men are appauled.. talk about women behaving like men... or rather neandethail men.

A scene i cannot stand is women flocking to some social club to see strippers and how they turn into animals that for me is like cheating.. id never go to a strip joint to see some woman stripping off and women think men who do that are slimeballs .... but nowadays it seems its ok for women to do it?

If my wife ever said me and the girls are going to see a stripper id say might as well pack your things as the locks would be changed and that may seem harsh but thats my beliefs id feel it a betrayal... i think it quite disgusting and the same goes for the way women are behaving about fifty shades of grey.

Society really dissapoints me people are like sheep doing what other people do, copying what other people do ... im starting to think being an individual and thinking for yourself is a scarce comodity as society is shaped not to think for themselves... worrying times..

So i blogged I worked from home and could have dressed but didn't feel like it having dressed a few times in Jan and Feb including a girls night in with the wife... Last week no crossdressing and this week again opportunuty tomorrow and after a bit of build up in work and deadlines to meet i though at least i've got tuesday to work from home and if i feel like it put on a little black dress... nope its half term and my wife had taken off wed, thurs and fri but someone else in work with her is off wednesday to shes changed to tuesday and wham bang goes crossdressing and R&R.

Next week maybe I'll get a chance or maybe not.. could go a run of cold turkey again without opportunity to unwind as "Davina"

The urge returned but cant do it...

I would love my wife to pen her perspective in here ... It would be good for her (you if youre reading this) to do something creative and help others and get things off your chest at the same time.

Youve seen themessages i get thanking me for the blog stating it helped .. well thats from Real women to me the crossdresser .. it would be even better coming from my wife..

blogging about the time she asked to make me up.. how she felt when i told her id crossdressed before.. how it felt reading the letter all about my dressing .. they years of anguish and worry until that fateful day she faced her fears in her lunchtime bringing up a cuppa for me with me dressed and so on and so forth to today... come on wifey add to the blog please ... Love You!! xxxx

That picture is of you by the Way xxxx

Day working from home number crunching ... I do love the transformation the feel of putting womens clothes o and how they feel tight on me like a basque and stockings and the last thing i do in stepping into high heels completes the look.. So cool being able to transform ones look with foundation blusher lipstick and eyeshaddows etc..

Lots of work accomplished and a nice relaxing day but not as good as saturday night.. back in male mode now in boring jeans and tshirt... getting pretty good at the makeup removal too

So much later I got a text back off her

"Glad you enjoyed it. Sorry I make you feel guilty for doing it. I am trying not to do it. We will do it again next time we have baby sitters. Love Yoe More xxxx"

So that broe the ice so much easy to test or write about it than talk.

So I asked her if she'd read my blog and she said no so i sent her the link and she read the latest of my blog..

Pretty disconcerting thats there are lots of talking points in the blogs but she reads them in silence not asing quesitons or pointing anything out.

Then when finished she said "If you want that wig just buy it and you make me out to be such a bitch"

I dont!! I praise her throughout the blog but ok guilty in a few recent ones to have slagged her off which is unfounded given that i have her trust and acceptance in this off the wall hobby of mine..

We chatted a little bit about it .. I dont know why we cant both open up and discuss it fully strange isnt it.. perhaps chatting via text is the best way lol any communication is better than none... Incidentally I ordered the wig and it should arrive tomorrow.. cool hope it suits me

So I was a lil tipsey and she was snoring away but i wanted to say thankyou for putting up with me crossdressing on sat night and being ok with it so i text her so she could read it in the morning as I'm still rubbish at tlaking about crossdressing despite this blog..

"Thanks for being ok with me sat here dressed up. It was nice t be able to feel relaxed and sexy just chilling watchnig tv with you instead of working (i kept control didnt get too horney but was a little) i still get nervous as hell dressing in front of you and still feel guilty and I find it hard to talk about as its like a weakness my need to escape my macho self or whatever.. it took me 30 mins to ask if it would be ok to dress up .. i'm not gonna beat myself up about it as i enjoy it and given up wondering why. Now completely chilled out as you snore away and 4 cans of cider a lil drunk. I almost put on your ugg boots to go an put rubbish in the bin to keep the kitchen tidy for the cheap thrill of being outside dressed but thought youd freak. Back in boring mode now omg you snore. .. but i love you so much xxxx you sexy bitch.."

There wasnt a reply thenext morning when we were both up but we did chat about it later in the evening the next blog i expect....

As my wirk laptop has frozen doing a simple task on excel I'm updating my blog.

Saturday night the kids went to the outlaws.. sorry inlaws for the evening leaving me and the wife the option of going out on the town or out for a meal but we opted to stay in.

It took me a good 30 mins of agonising to myself but finally I said "We're not going out are we? So i Might as well be Crossdressed and have a girls night in...If it's ok with you"

"Its not upto me do what you like"

"So I said ok I'll have a bath and gett dolled up as long as you're ok with it ... will you get dolled up too and let me do your makeup?"

"No i cant be bothered I'm tired"

So bath and shave, makeup, lingerie, stockings, heels and a black and white dress"

"Why did i throw that dress out hmmm i think i got a stain on it"

"Its ok for me I cant see a stain"

There wasnt much conversation but I made sure her wine was topped up and I was drinking Cider.. 4 cans later .. much later I felt quite tipsey as we watched TV together.

Eventually she fell asleep on the setee and I was still dressed at midnight a nice evening dressed relaxing watching tv and having a take away and a few drinks which is more like it .. usually I'm working dressed up which isnt so good.

SO out to the kitchen as Davina and did the dishes and thought shall i go the full hog and put the bin out also ? it would be a cheap thrill to be out side as Davina putting the bin out its dark not many if any about the long walk 20m or so down the side of the house the breeze up my dress.. i thought better of it incase someone saw me.

So a nice night in dressed and my wifes said I can do it again next time we have baby sitters with the kids staying out which is cool...

I half inched this from a RGs blog she gave the ok for me to post here..

THE WORST:

1. At least once, you will find clothes that are not yours and you will be sure he's cheating on you.

2. You are never going to know if you just caught him looking at a dress or legs and ass. Or both.

3. Sometimes he's going to look better than you.  He has to do a lot more maintenance to show his feminine side, so while you're rocking your comfy leggings and baggy tshirt he's rocking stockings, high heels and ravishingly red lipstick. This can feel demoralising.

4. It can get expensive. Now, money is already the number one problem in most relationships, so trying to fund a second wardrobe can cause some friction, to say the least. I recommend taking advantage of the sales or share the wardrobe.

5. You're stuck with a secret. This really is the toughest problem. Cross-dressers live with the secret of who they are until/if they ever become ready to share it with others. That means when you're "in" on the secret, you can't call up your bestie or your mom to talk about it..well you could but what would their reaction be? Your crossdressers secret becomes yours. It can make you feel like you're lying to your loved ones when you answer their worried "Is everything ok?" with "Oh. You know. Same old." 

THE BEST:

1. Clothes, clothes, clothes- I can share anything a wardrobe with him and he knows not to wear my best dresses. I've managed to reclaim some dresses back from him as my dress size has gone up and down with having kids. We not only like to look at pretty things together, we get to take advantage of a lot of the aforementioned sales and he has good fashion sense.

2. Fancy Clothes- I know, I just covered clothes, but these deserve their own category. Most cross-dressers don't start out with an extensive women's wardrobe, so they pick pieces that are super-feminine to start. This means that every so often when the kids sleep over Nana's (they've never seen him "dressed up"), He will be sitting in the living room watching television with me in his prettiest outfit waiting for me to notice his fabulous legs. After a few months of this, it sort of forces you to re-evaluate your wardrobe. I mean, he's dressed to the nines. Why can't you wear your Calvin Klein cocktail dress to watch television on a Saturday night. I found it motivated me to compete to look nicer than hims to put on my prettiest outfit, to feell sexy and to be utterly feminine..

3. Makeup skills- I have found that, in trying to help Him with makeup, I have become better at using it myself again a competitive thing to do my makeup better than his. Men tend to have much bigger features to accentuate, so it's a lot easier to practice on them!

4. Better Sex- That's right, I said it. It really should be number one, but I didn't want to scare you off. Men who cross-dress want to feel pretty and they feel sexy dressed, just like you do, so they know which buttons are the right buttons to push. Ahem. So to speak. If maybe once or twice they dress up before-hand, the turn-on for them when you don't turn away, when you embrace them for who they are, is huge. HUGE, I say pun intended. He's turned on as him but even more so as her believe me it's worth a try ladies. Even more attentive to my needs and more than eager to please.

5. Closeness/Commitment- Most cross dressers don't start out a relationship by telling you "Hey by the way..." It's something they keep close, and they only share it when they think, "Maybe this one is the one." If a cross-dresser has shared his secret with you, chances are he wants to share so much more. The seven years after Mine let me in on his secret were infinitely closer than the first eight--something I never would have thought possible.

So there you have it. Take it from me...the good far outweighs the bad. If you're not dating a cross-dresser, well, you can either use this list as a bargaining chip with your current boyfriend, or you can look around the office for the guy with the bright-colored shoes and start up a conversation.

I dont know what it's related to but I've had two more dreams the pic below sums one up a knock at the door I'm crossdressed and the wife tells me to answer the door knowing her friend is coming round...

....

the other i had involved again her best friend, her boss and her sister with my wife force crossdressing me.. and me pretending to make out i didnt want them to dress me up but loving every second of it...

.. Now this one really made me wake up like the blanket was a tent.. if you get my drift..

Do I want to be forced feminized? ... would it be forced as I kinda like it....

Why the same 4 women in the dream I dont know.. again my wifes gonna pee her pants laughing at these dreams.

How cool would that be "the kids are staying at my mothers go and de-stress in whatever you like .. here's a nice dress for you I'll be along to feminize you shortly a bath is run"

nice thought that.... There is a chance of the kids being at their Nans this weekend Saturday night dare I ask for a girls night in?

Than there's that naughty fantasy of mine below

But she wont touch me when I'm crossdressed.... pah!

There are a lot of articles in pintrest related to Crossdressing like "Sissy" links and "Submissive" links

Made me think what would I do if my wife wanted to be more Dom? What if the snide remarks are some dom side to her ... I do feel more submissive as "Davina" which she said is something she liked as she knows i feel guilty... "What is Alpha Male me is some sort of Sissy?"

Now this is something maybe I'd like as Davina..... lol ..Wait till my wife reads this haha

True at least 12 times per year ... more would be nice

Its the guilty thing...

Ok I mentioned Masterbation .. now I get to climax and this hits me "BOOM!!"

"I need to take this all off what am i doing" and I'll de-fem and dress back as a man thinking right thats it never again ... then regret wiping off makeup etc which is why if i do Masterbate I dont climax until its time to undress..

But also I do feel Fem and Sexy dressed up but do sometimes later get the thoughs in the caption which is weird and i think related to the guilt for putting my wife through me dressing.. thats what it is.. Guilt so snide remarks dont help.. they bring back the guilty pangs and self doubt

Its true as I've mentioned before I think I look a bit of alright when I'm dressed up... " I would" lol

I like how i look, how i do my make up, the shape of my legs ... "You're so Vane .. You probably think this song is about you.. you're so vane"

I recently told her that I sometimes Masterbate when I'm crossdressed.. hard to explain the sexy feel of nylon, silk and lace and the smell of perfume.. that noise when you walk and nylon rubs together .. well for me that has a sexy effect and yes I sometimes masterbate.... and have had some nice orgasms dressed up alone..

She equates that to "you wait for me to take the kids to school you get dressed up by 09:00 and start masterbating and then around 16:00 you finish masterbating and get back to man mode"...

Nooo .... but sometimes almost lol

Dont you just hate it when your plans are changed..

So I've not dressed for a few weeks and work is hyper again .. a week away from the office on a project and everything piled up so you look at your diary thinking two fold.. some white space no meetings to catch up and oh I could work from home and do it crossdressed..

My hands up i have the urge to crossdress slip into something sexy and put on makeup stockings and heels etc so tomorrow was that white space then 15:30 today a meeting invite not for tomorrow morning but for tomorrow afternoon 13:30-16:00 miles away from home so loss of time travelling to and from and no work done .. i hate pointless meetings especially when my hands up "I need to Crossdress"

Still cant believe I've lost a day to catch up and crossdress..

Just seen what the meeting is about and It hardly if at all concerns me arrghhh!

I've never discussed this with my wife but I wonder what it would be like to go shopping together for dresses?

Not as a T-Girl as no way would she do that (but I'm not saying i'd never attempt it lol might be fun... might get arrested lol) ... as Husband and wife shopping for a shared wardrobe..

This may be a good idea.. you've got money for birthday or Christmas you have everything you want as a bloke why not help fill the wardrobe with lingerie, and dresses sounds like a plan... and wouldnt this next photo be nice..